A Match Made in Harvard
Inspired by Matchbook, FM designed seven apps to help Harvard students find love. To all you CS50 students in need of Hackathon ideas—call us.
1. PROCRASTIDATE
Do you consume enough coffee to caffeinate a small village? Do you self-identify as “die-hard Lamonster?” Are you looking for someone to stay up with you until 7 a.m. the night before your problem set is due? Find other strung-out time-wasters who will enable your procrastination habit and hold your eyes open as you finish your late assignments.
2. EXCLUDED
Participants are ranked based on the companies forwhich they have interned, social status, and family name recognition. All potential daters must own at least two tech t-shirts (Dropbox or better) and/or be able to find every final club on a map. Swipe right only if you want to use potential mates for employment and social-climbing purposes.
3. 2400 CLUB
Proof of SAT required. 2390s should look elsewhere.
4. HOP ON FOP
FFO—Former Foppers Only. Dorm Crew, FIP, FAP, and FUP are too soft for this kind of high-intensity relationship. If you’re searching for someone with whom to enjoy the great outdoors and not bathe for at least a week, this is the app for you. BYOBugspray.
5. WEST COAST BEST COAST
Are you above living next to the Atlantic Ocean? Hate enduring the changing of the seasons? Sign up here to find someone to hold your hand on your plane ride home to the drought.
6. FILTHY STINKING RICH
A minimum account balance and a Canada Goose are required. Don’t know what a Canada Goose is? Move along.
7. CALL ME DOCTOR
An app exclusively for pre-meds. If you self-identify as competitive, tired, anxious, and/or hungry for love, you can nab a fellow pre-med with whom to spend the rest of your life in school. You’ll probably be able to enjoy each other’s company by the time you’re 60.