Around The Ivies: Conference Football Continues Trudge Through Conference Slate

­Over the course of my time on the football beat, I’ve learned a few things. First, the Crimson Sports Board is pretty cheap. As in, they don’t even pay for dinner on long road trips. Oh, and they made us take a 2:30 a.m. bus to get to the Princeton game. I’m not bitter or anything. But a five person car for six people?

Second, Harvard is absolutely the worst college in New England. As a writer for the football beat, I’m allowed to go to all the football games. Not only do we get press passes for Harvard games, we also get to go to every away game. I’m talking games an hour away like Brown and seven-hour drive games like Penn.

As terrible as it is to give away my whole Saturday to watch Harvard football, the one benefit is I’ve gotten to see college campuses I would have otherwise never seen. It’s been eye-opening to say the least.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that Harvard has objectively the ugliest campus in the Ivy League (and the Northeast). Princeton has beautiful buildings covered in ivy, open spaces, and possibly the nicest press box in the area. Dartmouth’s football stadium is backdropped by a lush mountain covered in colorful New England foliage. Holy Cross’ campus is covered in hills, green grass, and trees. Harvard, on the other hand, apparently decided to throw together the least attractive buildings in the worst, most cluttered way possible. It’s cramped and aesthetically unappealing.

But it’s not just the campus that makes Harvard so awful. It’s the utter lack of school spirit. We go to one of the best colleges in the world, and Lord knows we all brag about it back home. But no one ever goes to sporting events. At every other school I’ve been to, the stands have been packed. The parking lots smell of hotdogs and beer from the tailgates, and the students are decked out in school regalia.

College is supposed to be a place where you work hard during the week only to lose your mind at the games on Saturdays. My friends at FSU, Alabama, Florida, and Auburn have Snapchat stories filled to the brim with tailgates, football games, and the school-wide parties after each and every home game.

Conversely, my Harvard friends’ Snapchat stories are of Widener, Lamont, or the dining halls as they do work all day Saturday. Even the other Ivy League schools have tailgates at every football game.

Regardless, the Crimson have another home game this week. It’ll be cold, there will be approximately 50 students in the stand (including the 40-man band), and I’ll be far, far away at the University of Georgia actually having a good time. We’re smack-dab in the middle of Ivy League play, and Columbia comes to town to take on Harvard. On to predictions!

COLUMBIA AT HARVARD

Harvard is coming into the game as, surprise, surprise, the top ranked team in the Ivy League. Columbia is second-to-last. I mean, I guess we can wait to see what happens?

But Harvard is currently ranked third in the Ancient Eight in defense while Columbia is ranked last offensively. The Lions are averaging 13 points per game on offense. Even Georgetown was able to put up 17 against Harvard. Oh, and by the way, Columbia lost to Georgetown.

Yeah, Harvard has looked pretty subpar the last few games. The team lost to Holy Cross, barely slipped by Princeton, and, if it wasn’t for a tackle on a blocked extra point by sophomore quarterback Cam Tripp and a dropped touchdown by a Dartmouth freshman, would’ve lost to the Big Green. But Harvard is good, and Columbia is bad.

On a completely unrelated note, why don’t we start Cam Tripp this weekend? #TrippuptheLions

Pick: Harvard 28, Columbia 10

PENN AT PRINCETON

Wow, Penn is so good this season. Yeah, they started off the season slow with two losses, but geez have they picked up the pace. They’re tied atop the Ivy League with Harvard, and they don’t seem like they’ll be content just getting a share of the trophy this season. But to do that, they’ll need to be the League’s best scoring offense and second best scoring defense. The big game might be in a week against the Crimson, but they need to win this one for it to mean anything. As if Ivy League football means anything anyway.

Princeton is hungry, too. A win against Penn this weekend would almost guarantee a three-way tie in the Ivy League when if the Quakers beat Harvard in a few weeks. Princeton stomped on up-and-comer Cornell last weekend, 56-7, which is the most points any Ivy League team has scored this season. After Penn, the Tigers have Yale and Dartmouth. This is the only one left that matters.

Anyway, I really hope Penn wins. Championships should be won, not tied.

Pick: Penn 31, Princeton 23

YALE AT BROWN

Honestly, I just hate Yale.

Pick: Brown 35, Yale 28

DARTMOUTH AT CORNELL

Dartmouth just can’t catch a break, can they? They lost to Columbia and Harvard by two points, Yale by one score, and Penn by two scores. They could’ve been so good. Just like me and my ex-girlfriend. If she wasn’t crazy. Or imaginary.

For their sake, I hope they catch a break. They were supposed to be right up there with Harvard and Penn. Cornell has shown flashes of being great, but they lost all that mojo with the 56-7 loss last weekend.

Pick: Dartmouth 24, Cornell 17

—Staff writer Gant Player can be reached at wplayer@college.harvard.edu.