Madlib: I Got into Harvard!

Hello _____(classmate/SAT tutor/mom’s friend she wants to show off to). What was that? Where did I get in? I got into (Harvard/a school in Cambridge/no, the other school in Cambridge). Yes, that’s right. I am ______(humbled/humblebragging/bragging) that I am a member of the Harvard Class of 2019! When I opened the email, I immediately ________(cried/posted on Facebook/burst into flames). I really have to thank my parents for _______(loving me/supporting me/making me a legacy). I am so _______(excited/amazed/woefully unprepared) to be in Cambridge next year, and I hope that I’ll_______ (make the most of it/stay grounded/lose my virginity). I’ll get to be surrounded by________(the best minds in the world/talented professors/aggressive tourist groups). I also can’t wait for Visitas to meet (lifelong friends/Facebook celebrities/people I’ll forget about by Opening Days). I hear Harvard’s actually a party school. Maybe I’ll spend my Saturday nights (raging in the Yard/dancing at a final club/weeping into a burrito). I know you’ve ______ (been a great friend/helped me through the years/only talked to me for homework answers) so you can FOR SURE (visit/keep in touch/shove it). Thanks for your support, it (means a lot/makes me uncomfortable/is clearly insincere). Go _____(Crimson/Harvard/patriarchy)!