Mad Lib: Why I Can't Go To Your Performance

Hey there, _________ (best friend and blockmate/person who’s always on my newsfeed/hook up from last weekend). So here’s the thing. I know we _________ (are in the same Ec section/have literally never met in person/made out during River Run), but I want you to know that I _________ (value our friendship/Facebook stalk you extensively/avoid you like the plague). Thanks to your nonstop _________ (texts/emails/ carrier pigeons), I have become aware of your upcoming _________ (a capella performance/improv comedy show/“Game of Thrones” fan fiction reading).

I know how excited you are to _________ (dance your heart out/ dress up like Gollum/sing Celtic ballads while playing the bagpipes), and I’ve heard _________ (rave reviews/idle chatter/dire shouts of “run for the hills!”) about your performance. But _________ (unfortunately/ thankfully/as luck would have it), I _________ (sadly don’t think I can make it/have a prior engagement/would literally never consider going).

Trust me: I would go in a heartbeat if _________ (I didn’t have a test tomorrow/my parents weren’t in town/...yeah, under no circumstances would I go)! No, really—it’s just that I already committed to _________ (writing a paper/going on a date/Netflix and Nutella) this weekend. I feel _________ (really guilty/mildly bothered/incredibly relieved) about canceling.

That said, I know you’ll kill it on the _________ (stage/Tasty Burger basement/roof of the Science Center). Break a leg, _________ (literally/not literally).