Farnsworth Room Oddities

On the third floor of Lamont Library, home of the bleary-eyed and over-caffeinated, the Farnsworth Room offers a much needed haven for leisure reading. Its collection includes an eclectic mix of travel guides, graphic novels, science fiction novels, and other miscellanea. FM has done all the digging for you: here are some of Farnsworth’s finest and strangest, available now for your reading pleasure. 

“FLYING FINGERS: STORIES AND WRITING TIPS FROM SEVEN-YEAR-OLD AUTHOR ADORA SVITAK” BY ADORA SVITAK

Published in 2005, “Flying Fingers” defies genre and description. Part short story collection, part writing guide, part autobiography of child prodigy Svitak, this tome is a must-read for struggling Expos enrollees. Even if you don’t need writing help, the book is worth a look for its enthusiastically if poorly photoshopped cover (a grinning young Svitak typing against a backdrop of SAT vocabulary words). You’ll also find gems from the precocious author: “Writing words like ‘oubliette, kirtle, oligarchy and tourniquet’ in my stories helps me remember them. I love to spice up my stories by using new words.” Lamont’s copy is surprisingly well-worn.

“THE ART OF KISSING” BY HUGH MORRIS

Before heading over to the Widener stacks, check out this 1936 pamphlet detailing the finer points and extensive strategy involved in making out. Mildly predatory, the work overflows with pearls of wisdom and helpful woodcut illustrations on everything from different varieties of kissing (including “spiritual,” “eyelash,” and, alarmingly, “vacuum”—“suck inwardly as though you were trying to draw out the innards of an orange”), to a handy guide on “How to Kiss Girls With Different Sizes of Mouths.” Almost graphically detailed in its description of lip contortions and tongue gymnastics, “The Art of Kissing” is sure to add that missing element of paralyzing overthinking to your love life.

“WHAT WAS THE HIPSTER? A SOCIOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION” FROM N+1 MAGAZINE

Unsure about the genesis or classification of the elusive turn-of-the-century hipster, or its apparent relegation to the past tense? This book has answers. Read it now, before any of your friends hear about it.

“THE WISDOM OF DONKEYS: FINDING TRANQUILITY IN A CHAOTIC WORLD” BY ANDY MERRIFIELD

There might be an explanation for this unassuming-looking white hardback, but I decide not to seek it out. Perhaps the author of “The Wisdom of Donkeys” would applaud; mine is the kind of attitude which seems aligned with his asinine ethos: “I can’t stop thinking about donkeys, about that donkey LOOK, that donkey FEEL. I hear the wind whooshing in my ears, cooling my body, accompanied by Schubert and the sound of braying.”

“THE CUNNING LITTLE VIXEN” BY RUDOLF TESNOHLIDEK, ILLUSTRATED BY MAURICE SENDAK

This appears to be an extended modern fable, most notable for its title and the deeply creepy illustrations of angry-looking humans dressed in insect and animal costumes. Probably best not to open too late at night.

RUNNERS-UP:

“You Might Like Socialism: A Way of Life for the Modern Man,” by Corliss Lamont

“How to Woo, When, and To Whom,” from the Bodleain Library

“I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like,” by Dr. Mardy Grothe