Professor Fragrances

Maybe she’s born with it. Or maybe it’s Malan. Have you ever dreamed of smelling like your CS50 professor? No, we haven’t either. But we have wondered what it would be like if professors’ essences could be captured, bottled up, and sold on the open market. Below, FM imagines the scents that a few Harvard professors might put out if they had the chance to make their own eau de parfums.

DAVID J. MALAN ’99

Malan by David Malan

For David by David Malan

In collaboration with David Malan for David by David Malan, David Malan’s introductory eau de parfum represents the dawning of a new age. It’s for the showstoppers, the dreamers, the artists, the lovers. It’s for you. Made with only the best ingredients, the scent of Malan is meant to hide those inevitable tears caused by slaving over problem sets. Disclaimer: Scent guarantees excitement during lecture but not during section. This is not CS50. This is Malan by David Malan for David by David Malan in collaboration with David Malan for David by David Malan.

Notes: Aluminum, the Widener reading room between 9 p.m. and 12 a.m. on Mondays and Tuesdays, black t-shirt and jeans, patchouli.

Style: Invigorating, intoxicating, a little dorky.

RAKESH KHURANA

RAKESH by Rakesh Khurana

RAKESH captures the fundamental essence of the best aspects of Dean Khurana. That is, all aspects of Dean Khurana. Its classic, suave, and luxurious scent is nothing but sensual. It comes in a special edition crimson bottle, big enough for the entire freshman class to come together and smell as one. Sold exclusively at the Coop.

Notes: Sicilian bergamot, white pepper, velvet gardenia, rock star.

Style: Warm, assertive, incredibly crimson.

STEVEN PINKER

L’Eau de Steven Pinker Pour Homme (Limited Edition)

Reveal the Pinker within. This ultrasensual interpretation of human nature creates a primal, animalistic scent. But it doesn’t stop there. Revel in the smooth, slimy musk of the prefrontal cortex. The additional essences of Science Center B, 50-page textbook readings, and Pinker’s luscious locks gives it a distinctive, slightly insane spin. *Only a limited supply offered in order to properly reflect the resource dilemma.

Notes: Pheromones, adrenaline, honeysuckle, endless illusions.

Style: Spontaneous, human, occasionally disturbing.

MARTIN S. FELDSTEIN ’61

Feldstein Noir Pour Homme

Feldstein Noir Pour Homme combines unexpected ingredients to express this professor’s enthusiastic excitement for economics. Explosive notes of supply and demand curves crash through a strong base of conservative tax policy, ultimately revealing a deep and layered cologne. The scent is especially fitting for the naïve male student who has just embarked on an economics concentration. With wear, the cologne fades to reveal a sleek scent reminiscent of the Reagan era. Smell like the sexiest freemarket man you can be.

Notes: Lavender, tax cuts, limited government intervention.

Style: Mass-produced, lasting.