Brevities

This comic dialogue was included in the “Brevities” section of the very first issue of a newspaper called “The Magenta,” published on January 24, 1873 (it would later be renamed “The Crimson”).

A MEETING of the Harvard Nine was held on Friday, January 16, to fill the vacancy caused by the departure of their Captain, Mr. White, for Europe. The meeting resulted in the choice of Mr. C. T. Tyler, '74, as Captain, and of Mr. A. G. Hodges, '74, as Secretary.

RECENT meetings of the Freshman class have resulted in the election of the following officers. Boat Club. - Captain, C. F. Hodges; Secretary, N. A. Thompson; Treasurer, G. W. Green; Executive Committee, D. C. Bacon, W. F. Weld, and the Captain, Secretary, and Treasurer. Base-Ball Club. - President, W. F. Weld; Vice-President, N. A. Thompson; Secretary, H. P. Jaques; Treasurer, G. A. Nickereon; Executive Committee, G. H. Bradford, W. Blaine, and H. Ernst; Captain, N. W. Perry. Foot-Ball Club. - Captain, D. C. Bacon.

HALF-HOUR PRAYER-MEETINGS, beginning at 6 3/4 o'clock, are held by members of the Society of Christian Brethren, every Sunday evening at their room, 24 College House. All students are invited.
THEATRICALS for the benefit of the Harvard Boat Club will be given in Horticultural Hall some time in the latter part of February.

QUESTION FOR CLASSICAL SCHOLARS. - "Does the fact that Vespasian had a levee in his room while he dressed in the morning, prove conclusively that the old-clothes trade existed in Rome under the Emperors?"

HORRORSCOPE OF PROBABILITIES FOR COMMONS TODAY. - Breakfast light: followed by a general rise of appetite indicating a fish-dinner (probably Smelt-s), accompanied by a heavy storm of imprecations and a rapid fall of bodily temperature. Appetite steadily rising. Supper still lighter and very moist (cold water). Prospects for the evening, - General fall of sandwiches at Carl's.
(This has been nicely calculated by an old observer, and lacks the possibility of failure, which is such a charm in "Old Probabilities.")

SCENE: THE LIBRARY. (Curious Freshman removes a catalogue-card from its proper place.)

NOAH. Look here, sir! Don't you know it's against the rule to take those cards from the drawer?

CURIOUS FRESH. But I suppose it's no matter, as I did it insensibly.

NOAH (excited). Yes, but it is! You will incense Sibley, if you are not careful!
(Curious Freshman faints.)

A JUNIOR, eager for knowledge, has lost his eyesight from too great use of the midnight Hoyle. DID Bret Harte allude to Victoria Woodhull in his popular sketch of "Tennessee's Pardner"?

WE learn from an authentic source that the salary of our estimable night watchman has not yet been raised.

SCENE: THE COLLEGE YARD. - IST SOPH. I say, Bill! What divinity do you think presides over the weather this week?

2D SOPH. (from a puddle). Give it up!

IST SOPH. (who elects Icelandic and Gothic). Why, the Great Northern God, Thor!
(The two Sophs, float pensively away.)