Fifteen Visitas Rumors

1. During Visitas, Dean Dingman picks his favorite freshman. If he likes you, you’ve got a shot at Phi Beta Kappa.

2. The dorm you stay in during Visitas determines not only your housing for the next four years but also your eligibility for social organizations, internships, and a sense of fulfillment.

3. Peeing on the statue of John Harvard during Visitas is really OK, and is definitely not the same thing as some stranger peeing on it.

4. Despite what you’ve been told, you haven’t really been accepted to Harvard yet. Visitas is the final test, and you are judged solely on social competence and how many parties you attend.

5. That nickname you get at Visitas will stick.

6. During Visitas your host is technically the lawful owner of your left kidney, and may do whatever she or he wants with it.

7. Imbibing alcohol during Visitas will result in a retracted offer of admission, but also you get an oversized cotton t-shirt reading: “Getting into Harvard is hard, getting kicked out is even harder.”

8. If you choose to attend a party while at Visitas, the only dance you are allowed to perform is the “aggressive wall grind.” Failure to comply may result in mandatory enrollment in the Ballroom Dance Team.

9. There’s a super cool party in Currier, and if you go there...nope, you probably won’t go there.

10. Talking about the other schools you got accepted to during Visitas, and how hard the decision facing you is will result in your immediate transfer to Cornell. Even if you didn’t apply there. We have that power.

11. During Visitas, every party is a plaid party.

12. Matt Damon hosts a party in his old room, but he’ll only let you in if you say Argo was a horrible movie.

13. If you write 100 posts in the 2017 facebook group, you are invited to attend a lavish dinner on the Charles River with President Drew Faust in which she reads your best posts in the style of a slam poem.

14. Eleganza is an interactive event. Get up there on stage and strut your stuff!

15. If you visit a lecture and fail to pose at least three interesting questions, you will not be allowed to enroll in it ever.