Trick-or-Treat at Professors' Homes

Since you've been meaning to go to office hours all semester, get face time with your favorite faculty members by showing up to their houses on Halloween and demanding candy. Here's what FM imagines that they’ll be giving out.

Donald H. Pfister: M&Ms. He doesn't get his hands dirty with chocolate or with scandals. All of the colors remind him of the fall foliage.

N. Gregory Mankiw: He won't be there. David Johnson will hand out the candy for him. If you accept the candy, you also have to buy the newest edition of his textbook. This isn't a welfare state.

Richard H. Fallon: In order to form a more perfect Halloween, promote general wellbeing, and ensure domestic tranquility, he'll be offering candy in amounts equal to the weight of the Con Law textbook. Make sure to use (judicial) restraint.

David J. Malan: Chocolates with "I Took CS50 and Trick-or-Treated at Malan’s House" stamped on them. Even if you don’t go to Harvard, you can still watch the video of him giving out candy on the EdX website.

Michael Brenner and David Weitz: Liquified, frozen nitrogen infused cocoa butter malt balls with salted caramel made out of ice. When you bite into one, it tastes surprisingly like Felipe's nachos with undertones of the relief of finally getting your SPU requirement out of the way.

Dennis Gaitsgory: Nerds. There are too many in his Math 55 class.

Drew G. Faust: Spooky photos from "Death and the Civil War." She won’t be offering alcohol, but she intends her house to become the much needed social space on campus.

Niall Ferguson: British Cadbury chocolates. Everything British is better than what you can get in the colonies.

Andrew Berry: A variety of candies that you can naturally select from to choose the fittest one.

Paul E. Farmer: He'll give you the best candy and then convince you to give it to someone who could use it more.