A Guide to Asking a Professor to Faculty Dinner

Scared of rejection? Don’t want to spend another faculty dinner spooning stolen dhall cereal into your mouth alone in your dorm room? Don’t worry, FM’s got your back with a few foolproof proposals to guarantee your professor won’t say “no” or “who are you?"

Slip a Note in Your Term Paper

If you have an essay due for one of your classes, this is the perfect way to ask your professor to the faculty dinner. Not only will it make for a pleasant surprise, but it will also help you reach your page limit. If you want to seal the deal you can even incorporate the invite into your thesis—the faculty dinner has everything to do with democratization in the Middle East.

Let Him/Her Ask You

Manipulate the situation so that your professor asks you to dinner. Do whatever it takes to be the last one out of lecture. Fumble with your backpack, drop pens and pencils all over the ground, or just stand there awkwardly for a couple minutes. Then, when you’re left alone with the professor, sigh loudly and subtly hint that you have no one to take to faculty dinner. “Oh so it looks like I have no one to go to the faculty dinner with...cough cough. Hey professor, did you hear that?” Your professor should catch on from there, especially if you start weeping softly.

Office Hours

This one is perfect if your TF or professor holds office hours in a cafe. When you go in for office hours offer to buy her a latte or coffee, then quickly write a message on the cup of coffee: “Will you go to the faculty dinner with me? Grande Soy Milk Latte”

Hijack the Lecture

Time to put those CS50 skills to work. Take over the monitor during lecture, and in big, bold, obnoxious letters, with blinding, flashing neon colors, make your proposal. It couldn’t hurt to throw in some gifs of adorable animals for good measure. It’s sure to give the whole class a laugh, and the professor will be so impressed, he’ll have to say yes!