FM Guide: Getting to Know Faculty

Critics love to say that Harvard professors are distant, inaccessible, and too busy to care about their students. All you ex-addicts of College Confidential know what we’re talking about.

But luckily for the babies of 2015, the Freshman Dean’s Office has just released an official guide for “Getting to Know Faculty”—and FM can’t help but add our own.

INTERACTION WITH FACULTY AND STAFF

Don’t be intimidated by that half-Windsor knot and that perfectly stoic look. Confidence is key! Professors love playing hard to get, but the truth is that they’re actually afraid of rejection: ease their doubt by coming on hard.

So, yes, there are office hours, but why limit yourself to one setting? If you’re on campus and desperate, track them down for “toilet hours”—and always take the stall right next to theirs.

Suggested one-liner: “So, Professor ... do you come here often?”

FIRST-YEAR FACULTY DINNERS

Don’t pass up the chance to dine with one of Harvard’s finest. Invite the most famous professor you know to a faculty dinner, and relish the one-on-one time. Then, when your new best friend is pondering the theories of the universe, grab his used napkin with a ninja move. Steal anything else you can get your hands on, and sell it on eBay for an exorbitant amount.

Guilty pleasure: your secret shrine of items and photos dedicated to your favorite professor, which you can turn into a museum with an entrance fee.

LUNCHEON SERIES

Free food. Enough said.

Topic for discussion: the difference between a lunch and a luncheon.