Introducing: Harvard Pornos

Who says that Harvard students don’t have sex? Here at FM, we know the problem isn’t so much our lack of game as it is bad advertising. In an effort to correct this delusion—and to spice up our collective sex lives—we urge VES students to start filming the following productions.

Annenberg After Hours

It’s nearly midnight, and the hungry freshmen of Harvard are looking for a place to satisfy their appetites. They push to the gates of the feasting hall, wondering what delights would be offered tonight. Pizza with extra sausage? Exotic German chocolate—or just plain vanilla? At Annenberg After Hours, you can have it your way.

Harvard University Campus Escort Service

After hitting the books hard all day, Mandy looks outside and sees that it’s already dark. “Perfect,” she purrs, putting away her copy of “Lolita.” She can finally take advantage of the “Evening Van Service” that she can jump on and ride all night. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a tall, strapping man in uniform approaching. “Finally,” she thinks, and haughtily tosses her lustrous hair. Mandy’s night is just beginning.

Orgasmic and Evolutionary Biology

The fiery Cinnamon Hartt just graduated with a degree in orgasmic and evolutionary biology—but in this economy, it’s tough to find a job. So Hartt is taking her bachelor’s to the street, where her classes in Anatomy and Animal Behavior prove more pleasurable than she imagined in her wildest dreams.