FM Imagines: Freshmen Firsts

A FRESHMAN’S FIRST OFFICE HOUR EXPERIENCE

Freshman: (Greeting!!)

Professor: (Greeting.)

Freshman: (Compliment on office décor.)

Professor: (...)

Freshman: (Question about grading.)

Professor: (In syllabus.)

Freshman: (Question about sectioning.)

Professor: (In syllabus.)

Awkward silence.

Professor: (First response paper?)

Freshman hands professor rough draft.

Freshman: (Modest comments.)

Professor: (Modest paper.)

Awkward silence.

Professor: (Inquiry about class themes overall.)

Freshman: (Vague, general response.)

Professor: (Question about first lecture.)

Freshman: (... Shopping period.)

Professor: (Question about latest lecture.)

Freshman: (... Add/drop period.)

Awkward silence.

Freshman: (... Weather?)

Professor: (Time.)

Freshman: (Thanks!)

Professor: (Goodbye.)

FIRST FRESHMAN FAIL

Freshman Boy: (Attempt at smooth greeting.)

Upperclassman Girl: (Nonchalant greeting.)

Freshman Boy: (Year?! House?! Hometown?! Name?!)

Upperclassman Girl: (… Year?)

Freshman Boy: (Junior.)

Upperclassman Girl: (Weld ’15 t-shirt?)

Freshman Boy: (... Laundry day.)

Upperclassman girl walks away. Freshman boy turns to nearby girl.

Freshman Boy: (Year?! House?! Hometown?! Name?!)

FIRST FRESHMAN HOOKUP

Upperclassman Boy: (Head nod.)

Freshman Girl: (Walks over.)

Upperclassman Boy: (Freshman?)

Freshman Girl: (Freshman. Year?)

Upperclassman Boy: (Senior. Drink?)

Freshman Girl: (Drink! Name?)

Upperclassman Boy: (Name. Vodka?)

Freshman Girl: (Vodka! House?)

Upperclassman boy leaves and returns with vodka.

Freshman Girl: (Thanks. Hometown?)

Upperclassman Boy: (Hometown. Dance?)

Freshman Girl: (Dance! Extracurriculars?)

Upperclassman Boy: (Go back to my room?)

Freshman Girl: (Go back to your room! Concentration?)