Emerging Spring Fashions

Whether you live on the bleeding edge of fashion or just throw on whatever smells least offensive in the morning, the styles blooming this spring will make you laugh, cry, or—quite possibly—lust. Here is FM’s list of the smoking trends that should make a stop at the Square and those that should take the outbound express.

Outbound!: Flatforms

Imagine a pair of cute flats or oxfords, then stick a brick underneath them. That’s what flatforms are. Despite their sheer bulkiness, flatforms are making an appearance on the street and on the runway. The $795 Prada Creeper Brogue, whose inexplicable popularity caused them to sell out in every Prada store in Manhattan, looks like a sophisticated, sleek oxford lace-up perched precariously on a neon stack of rubber and espadrille. Terrifying.

Outbound!: Short shorts on guys

Certainly, there are many attractive men at Hemenway sporting shorts and cut off T-shirts for the benefit of all those around them. But how much skin can be shown before it borders on disturbing? Thigh? Mid-thigh? When it just gets too damn hairy? A good rule of thumb to follow: when the tan line ends, so do the shorts. Otherwise, the shorts are too damn high!

Outbound!: Denim flares

Why, fashion gods? Why? Just when we had committed to an exercise regime, learned to suck in our guts, and wrapped our minds around the ultra skinny look, you bring the 70s back. Depressing.

Inbound!: Loungerie

Stockings! Lace! Satin! Sheer fabrics! Dior and Reyes reminded us of how so little clothing can say so much. While it can be difficult to walk the line between the titillating and the downright skanky, FM doubts many people will complain.

Inbound!: The extreme side part

DKNY, Lacoste, and Carolina Herrera showed us that Spring 2011 is all about this. The asymmetrical frame draws attention away from imperfections and towards the eyes. Sexy.

Inbound!: Punk influences

If you can get over the vaguely depressing postmodern phenomenon that borrows image from movements without adopting their substance, punk fashion may be for you! Think leather, ripped stockings, studs, safety pins, and combat boots. Also, remember: black will always be the new black.