Hate it: Tiger Moms

Move over Stalin, there’s a new dictator in town, and this tiger mom is in no mood for failure (A-) or fun (birthday cards). When I first read Amy L. Chua’s ’84 defense of the superiority of Chinese Mothers I thought she was kidding. Call me crazy, but I think it’s going too far to forbid your kids from, among other things, socializing, watching TV, playing an instrument other than the violin or piano, dating, or being in a school play. And the best way to boost a kid’s confidence is probably not to call her “fatty” and “garbage” or to threaten to burn her clothes and dismantle her dollhouse—but what do I know? Unlike Chua, after all, I’m not a distinguished Yale professor.

Maybe we should scream at kids for Bs and force them to practice the piano for three hours a day, but honestly I think that instilling a fear of failure in children just encourages them to try only activities they are sure to succeed at and take classes they are guaranteed to ace. Let’s not try that harder, more interesting class. Then you might not have it your way and get the guaranteed A+, and you know what that means? Three words: Burger King Employee.

I fundamentally disagree with the idea that the only way to enjoy an activity is through mastery. Just because you’re not going to make it to Carnegie Hall doesn’t mean you can’t dabble in the oboe, and just because you’re not the star of the school play doesn’t mean you shouldn’t participate at all. I don’t think having fun is overrated, and I don’t think overachieving is a sure path to success. Go on a sleepover, try something you might be bad at, and maybe, if you’re feeling really daring, go on a date.