Formulating a Future

Whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, what I wanted to study in college, or now what I want to do after I graduate, my only reply was “I have no idea.” I came to Harvard fully expecting to have an “a-ha” moment, one of those times when you discover something you’re truly passionate about or your calling in life. My relatives, teachers, and guidance counselors all assured me that this would be the case. Every career day and academic panel I attended seemed to reinforce this notion. People tell stories left and right about their own a-ha moments. There is the environmental lawyer who grew up next to wetlands. He used to explore them every weekend with his father until they were destroyed to make room for a shopping mall. Don’t forget the English professor who felt so accomplished after working her way through “Ulysses” that she is now dedicated to the study of literature.

When I bring up the uncertainty of my future career, many times people will attempt to diffuse my concern by emphasizing the unpredictable nature of their own moments of realization. Maybe the anthropologist spent his entire childhood doing math problems for fun, but one National Geographic television special he watched in college completely changed his plans, alerting him to previously dormant passions that he is now pursuing whole-heartedly.

With each passing year, I became more certain that my moment was right around the corner. Surely tomorrow I would rescue a turtle from the middle of the road, look deep into its eyes, and dedicate the rest of my life to my budding career as a reptilian veterinarian on the spot. Unfortunately, my life is still largely turtle-free.

At the start of this school year, however, I did come to a realization. Maybe I will just never have one of those moments that I’ve heard described so fondly, where my entire future trajectory is decided in an instant. Our vocations don’t have to be the product of overpowering and instantaneous emotions; it is not disingenuous or disappointing to over time make rational career choices that are based on careful consideration and self-reflection.

Additionally, if we take time to analyze the different reasons we like certain classes or hobbies rather than waiting for one of those “moments,” we can come to smaller understandings that will then help guide our lives. And these realizations are every bit as valuable as that of the math aficionado watching that life-changing National Geographic program. Of course we should always be open to new passions as they materialize, but we shouldn’t allow them to restrict us by giving them so much weight.

By this token, I’ve now had my a-ha moment in that I have realized I need to stop waiting for one. We should all have faith in our ability to make rational decisions when the time comes to steer our futures.

And if at the end of this process it turns out that practicing medicine on reptiles is my true calling, then so be it.

Lea J. Hachigian ’12, a Crimson editorial writer, is a neurobiology concentrator in Leverett House.