BAD TREND ALERT: ROBOTS

So, you played with “Star Wars” androids as a child? It’s okay; we did too. Once. 15 years ago (translation: between Episodes VI and I). A childhood celebrating Optimus Prime, a socially unfulfilling adolescence, a stunning but dateless rendition of the robot at prom—these are all things that got you into Harvard. But it’s time to leave them behind and upgrade to YOU v2.0. The robots, mega-bots, and Ca-BOTs must go.

After all, we spend every single Friday and Saturday night selflessly—no, heroically—risking life and liver to convince Facebook that Harvard students aren’t robots, programmed exclusively to study, pass exams, and engage in occasional human interaction. So leave the robots on the awkward dance floor of your middle school gymnasium, or at least in Lamont; don’t force us to fight them on the midnight shuttle. Otherwise Harvard College Standup Society’s “robololz”, funny as it is, might leave us in robotearz.

Then again, maybe there is something to this trend? Parties kept sketchily dark, omnipresent cheap handles of vodka—we have these tried-and-true methods of maximizing our allure, but what could beat covering ourselves in a cardboard box and tinfoil? We still prefer the vintage and more bohemian-chic alternative: paper bags.