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This Sunday, I will be participating in one of the most absurd sporting events known to mankind.
“What?” you ask. “I thought the Hot Dog Eating Contest wasn’t until July.”
No, I am talking about CRASH-Bs, the World Indoor Rowing Championships.
CRASH-Bs, which stands for Charles River All Star Has-Beens, started off as a way for Olympic and National team caliber rowers to keep winter training interesting, adding excitement to the erg by creating a local competition. But what started off as a small-scale indoor regatta in Newell Boathouse has grown to a large-scale international competition bringing the best rowers from across the world to Boston University’s Agassiz Arena. Once there, they spend six to eight minutes in a kind of pain that could have been easily obtained for much less money. (Of course, isn’t paying for pain something Detroit Lions’ season ticket holders do anyway?)
What else is crazy about CRASH-Bs? Well, there’s the fact that the results don’t necessarily have anything to do with on-the-water performance. The winner might be too heavy to move boats or have horrible technique. But this, too, isn’t unique to CRASH-Bs. Observe the frenzy surrounding the NFL Combine. Somehow, no one figured out that JaMarcus Russell wasn’t exactly first-pick material. At least rowing national teams don’t sign rowers immediately after they complete a 2K.
But neither of these are what make CRASH-Bs such an absolutely absurd event. What’s really unfathomable about CRASH-Bs is the low entry barrier. You don’t have to be Olympic or National team caliber. You don’t have to be a college star. In fact, you don’t have to be any kind of great athlete at all.
This, as we all know, is absurd, something you would never see in more mainstream sports.
Imagine if all elite athletes had to prove themselves against the weekend warriors and gym rats.
Then we’d see just how much better these stars are than the rest of us. We denizens of the MAC would get destroyed.
Or maybe not.
What if I told you a CEO from Chicago beat Michael Jordan in one-on-one?
It really happened. If you don’t believe me, just read the Sports Illustrated column to learn how John Rogers—CEO of Ariel Capital Management—beat his hometown’s biggest sports star. And what about the movie “Invincible”, in which Vince Papale, having played only high school football for one year, managed to make the Philadelphia Eagles? Also true.
Maybe the barrier between elite athletes and the rest of us isn’t that great. Or maybe there is just a lot of elite athletes that never get discovered.
Rowing has always been willing to open its doors, and CRASH-Bs is just one example of that. Have you ever heard of Steve Tucker? He’s one of the greatest lightweight rowers in the world. How did he get his start? At an MIT frat party. His fraternity brothers dragged out an erg, and Tucker promptly started tearing it up. The rest, as they say, is history.
This side of Cambridge has had its fair share of walk-on wonders. Michelle Guerette ’02, a former walk-on, took the silver medal in the silver scull at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. A year after she graduated, the Radcliffe Heavyweights won the NCAA Championships thanks in great part to the efforts of former walk-ons Lis Lambert ’04 and Olympic gold medalist Caryn Davies ’05.
Guerette and Lambert had never rowed before college, but both excelled in the sport when given the chance. CRASH-Bs is right to give aspiring athletes the chance to prove themselves at the world stage. But how many potentially great figure skaters, squash stars, or downhill skiers never get that chance? Perhaps one day, open events such as CRASH-Bs will be the norm, instead of the exception.
But forget about sports. Maybe there’s a way we can spread open access to other “more important” fields such as education and politics. Maybe if everyone had access to a quality education, we’d see who the real brains of the country are. Or if there were more transparency about key political issues, such as giving everyday citizens a chance to voice their opinions, then we’d find out what the best ideas really are. As rowing seems to understand, it’s only when everyone can compete that you really find out who the best is.
—Staff writer Christina C. McClintock can be reached at ccmcclin@fas.harvard.edu.
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