Growing Up in Harvard Yard

Nora Molyneaux lives in a first floor suite in Grays Hall with newly painted walls. Her bright pink bike sits in the hallway outside her door.

She rarely makes it on time to her entryway’s study breaks, but she has a close relationship with the proctors—occasionally waking them up in the middle of the night.

She can be a picky eater and isn’t always happy with the food in Annenberg Hall.

Life for Nora, who is almost three years old, isn’t so different from those of the college freshmen who live around her.

Lindsay C. Page and Bradley J. Molyneaux, Nora’s parents, are co-proctors in Grays this year. They are among the five proctor couples raising children in freshman dorms. Three more are expected to join by the end of the academic year.

While raising children on a college campus has its difficulties, proctor parents say Harvard Yard is a welcoming and stimulating place to raise their children.

THROUGH PARENTS’ EYES

Growing up on campus is different from the typical American suburban life—these children spend some of their day interacting with students more than four times their age.

“There are always unexpected things happening,” Page says, citing the spontaneous performances of the marching band and various choral societies in the yard as examples.

“It’s exciting to view those sorts of wacky college campus happenings through Nora’s eyes,” Page says.

While they are surrounded by undergraduates on all sides, proctors say their families are able to form a close community on campus. They often go to museums together or organize picnics in the yard so that their children can interact with others their age.

Sky, who is co-proctoring with her husband Geoff in Grays, says the proctor parent community on campus came to her aid after her son Harlan was born. The couple did not wish to publish their last names for this article.

“I had a pretty difficult labor and when we came back [on campus] the other proctors had arranged to bring us meals,” she says.

Sometimes the undergraduates in their entryway help make parenting a little bit easier.

One day when Nora had to return home sick from day care, Page sent an e-mail to her entryway asking for help, and one of her freshman looked after Nora for part of the day.

But raising a child on Harvard’s campus also comes with its difficulties.

“You are trying to wrangle a baby up and down the steps, and there are tourists taking pictures of you,” Sky says of juggling a six-month-old and groceries from their car parked several blocks away from the yard.

‘PART OF THE TEAM’

For their part, many freshmen say they enjoy the presence of a young child in their entryway because it helps them to put their problems into perspective.

Robert E. Powers ’14, who lives in Page and Molyneaux’s entryway, says challenging Nora to clean her plate before him in Annenberg Hall for example provides “a good break” from college life.

“It doesn’t seem like a lot on the surface, but when you’re living such a hectic lifestyle like we are in college, little things like that just brighten up your day,” Powers says.

Stephen L. Kent ’14, another student in the same entryway, agreed. Kent says when he comes back exhausted from a long marching band concert, seeing Nora cheers him up.

“She’ll see me in my band uniform, and she’ll just smile. That’ll make it all worth it,” he says.

Many proctors’ children quickly become important members of their dorm community.

Elizabeth C. Spira ’11, a Peer Advising Fellow in Sky and Geoff’s entryway, stressed how well-integrated the proctors’ son Harlan is in Grays.

“All the e-mails are signed Sky, Geoff and Harlan. He’s part of the team,” she says.

For the annual Freshman Pumpkin Carving Contest, their entryway emptied a pumpkin and carved two holes on the sides. They then had 6-month-old Harlan wear it.

“We called it ‘pumpkin couture,’” Geoff says, laughing.

Looking back at his time at Harvard as a small child, George W. Stubbs ’11, who lived in Greenough for the first three years of his life, says interacting with undergraduates as a young child has had a profound effect on his life.

“My theory is that it socializes you very well,” Stubbs says, adding he thinks he is more social and open to talking to people because he was raised on campus.

ADDED RESPONSIBILITY

In addition to being proctors and graduate students, proctor parents face the added challenge of raising young children.

Some undergraduates feel their proctors’ responsibilities as parents can limit their availability.

“Where [my proctor] can go and what she can do is based on how long she can go without the baby,” a student says, who requested anonymity to avoid identifying the proctor. “If you want to interact with [her], then you are interacting with [her] and the baby.”

Page, Nora’s mother, says when family problems arise, she cannot always devote her attention to her students.

She says, however, she thinks the situation was more problematic when Nora was a toddler and demanded more attention.

“She would be in the fit of crying and somebody would show up at the door,” she says. “Now she is older, more reasonable.”

Having a child in the entryway may sometimes distract proctor parents, but students and PAFs say it also fosters a more mature atmosphere in the entryway.

Spira says she thinks the presence of a child in the entryway prompts students to be more cognizant of rules about alcohol and drugs.

Some students say they consider their proctors as almost second parents.

“We always want to be on our best behavior in front of them,” Stephen says.

Dean of Freshmen Thomas A. Dingman ’67, who raised his children on campus as a Resident Dean in Leverett, says proctor parents tend to make dorms feel more like a home to many students.

“They [bring] a perspective that somebody who’s just finishing the undergraduate years doesn’t have,” Dingman says.

HOME, SWEET HOME

The environment in which proctors raise their children is not the differentiating factor—the physical space on campus is vastly different from what they would likely experience in a suburb.

Most proctor suites in the yard do not have kitchens or private bathrooms, which can prove challenging when trying to assign all proctor families a suite adapted to their needs.

Dingman says even though proctor housing is not as flexible as he would like, proctor parents know what to expect when they move in on campus.

“We are very clear with the proctor candidates about what we have,” he says.

When informed by the FDO about incoming proctor families, Senior Manager of Harvard Yard and Freshman Dormitories Anthony Pacillo contacts the parents to address their needs on an individual basis. Some need extra bookshelves and dressers; others come with their own set of furniture.

Harvard Yard Operations also ensures the family suites are safe for children.

Massachusetts’ law prohibits children under six from living in a space with lead paint, which can be found in many of the older dormitories at Harvard. When a family is assigned a suite with lead paint on the walls, Yard Operations have to delead the entire suite before the family can move in.

Proctor families are not guaranteed the best suites on campus either. The FDO considers factors such as a proctor’s seniority and the quality of his or her work, according to Elm Yard Resident Dean Sue Brown. Page and Sky, who have been proctors for nine and five years respectively, are now living in suites that include a kitchen and a private bathroom.

Newer proctor couples are not always that lucky.

Emily S. Lin ’02 is a proctor for the first time this year. She lives in Canaday C with her wife Dawn E Slack, who is expecting a baby this spring. They share a bathroom with the rest of their floor, cook in Canaday’s common kitchen, and wash the dishes in their bath tub.

Lin and Slack say they hope they are going to be assigned to a suite better suited to their needs next year, but in the meantime they are prepared to raise a baby in a world of freshmen.

—Staff writer Ariane Litalien can be reached at alitalien@college.harvard.edu.