Drunk Munchies

You prepped for hours getting ready, you scoped out all the coolest party spots for the night, and you even busted out some fancy dance moves just to prove that kids at Harvard can still have fun. Now you deserve to enjoy the best part of going out: drunken munchies. FM shows you that the post-game can be more fun than the game itself.

YES

Out with the old, in with the new(er). Noch’s and Felipe’s might have been good enough when you were a freshman, but isn’t it time to branch out? FM, ever fashionable, explores the newer, trendier spots on campus for your late night eats.

IHop
16 Eliot Street. Open 7 a.m.-4 a.m. everyday.
Reclaim hot breakfast! Harvard may have taken away your right to a hot meal every morning, but that doesn’t mean you have to go without. Somewhat out of the way from Harvard’s central partying scene, Ihop provides a down-to-earth, value-friendly atmosphere, where no one will judge you for scarfing down that omelet, bacon, and pancakes. And the biggest perk: they take Crimson Cash.

Trata
49 Mt. Auburn St. Open until 1 a.m. Thursdays-Saturdays.
When a more upscale, sit-down atmosphere is desired, Trata is mere steps from final clubs, Daedalus, and Quincy. They have the usual staple of inebriated dining—pizza—and also items to put on Daddy’s credit card—salmon filets and peppercorn crusted steak, among others. Hit up the extensive beer and wine list if you begin to lose your buzz.

Quincy Grille
Quincy House. 58 Plympton St. Open until 2 a.m. on Thursdays; 4 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays.
While the selection is limited, the atmosphere is rowdy, and the service is subpar, the Quincy Grille is the only place to get food where everybody knows your name. Whether ordering mozz sticks, chicken fingers, a cheeseburger, or sweet potato fries, chances are the person serving it is someone you had in section, someone you hooked up with, or your blockmate. While you can only pay for this greasy goodness with cash, you can always ask your teammate sitting at the table over to spot you.

Market in the Square
60 Church Street. Open 24/7.
The Market offers everything from freshly-made sandwiches and sushi to hot entrees and hard-to-find imported cookies and candy. Plus it’s always open. Some may complain it’s expensive, but must cheap drunks eat cheap drunk food?

Zoe’s
1105 Mass. Ave. Opens at 7:30 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays; 8 a.m. on Sundays.
The sun is rising as you finally leave the depths of the Delphic basement. Or maybe you’ve snuck out early from that cutie’s single to avoid the walk of shame rush hour. Get to Zoe’s. Their dishes come with pure maple syrup and creative omelette options exist for the health-conscious. Generous portions replenish stomachs now empty from the night’s activities.

Falafel Corner
8 ½ Eliot St. Open until 3 a.m. Thursdays-Saturdays.
New to the Square, this Middle Eastern joint serves up the usual falafel and shawarma dishes late into the night, in addition to many desserts. The menu’s variety and quick service make the walk worth it from the Yard or more distant Houses. However, the atmosphere is reminiscent of an underground clinic, so FM recommends the food to-go. Also stop at the bank on way—cash only.

Kong
1236 Mass Ave. Open until 2:30 a.m. on Thursdays; 3 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays.
It’s 2 a.m. on a Saturday night, you just got shut down by that freshman in the Quad, and all you need is a good meal to sober you up before you go home. This is not the time to get creative. Ditch the classier options, and just head straight to the Kong. Their crispy scallion pancakes and greasy lo mein will hit the spot every time. It’s an oldie but a goodie.


NO

Drunk or not, it’s inexcusable to waste what could be a great post-party meal on one of these places. FM did the research, so you don’t have to.

Au Bon Pain
1360 Mass. Ave. Open until midnight on Thursdays and Fridays; 1 a.m. on Saturdays.
Convenient? Yes. Offensively pungent? Yes. Overpriced? Insultingly so. Just say no.

Vending Machines
Everywhere and anywhere. Open 24/7.
There’s just something sad about ending your drunken escapade waiting on a machine for your satisfaction. Even if you didn’t get that hookup you were after, opt for some human interaction at the end of your night.