Crimson Wisdoms

Marx: Hu Jintao saluted the proles with Cirque de Soleil-style antics as China celebrated 60 years of communist rule. Now there’s something to raise your sickle to.

Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono: At least after his speech at Harvard this week, he’ll finally be able to say that some Americans have actually heard of him.

White House Interns: The Washington Post caught two White House interns sparring light saber-style in a bout of swordplay reminiscent of Jedi Master Obama. It may have cast some doubt in Washington over their maturity, but we find this the most badass thing ever.

The New York Mets: At least this year they didn’t lose their spot in the playoffs on the last day of the season.

Roman Polanski: “Knife in the Water” meets knife in the back as celebrated Polish director is arrested in Zurich on charges of raping a minor in ’78. Friends like Woody Allen and Martin Scorcese cry foul—but Woody’s own taste for young flesh makes his support a little suspect.

The Public Option: The Senate Financial Committee send Dems packing twice with their government insurance plans. Next time Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) is running a fever, Obama won’t be there with a thermometer.

Iran: This week’s controversial missile tests didn’t even help the fundamentalist dictatorship assert itself on the international stage—the nation capitulated to Western demands for inspections a few days later. The recent complaisance has us wondering: Is all this uranium enrichment just part of Iran’s dark-horse bid to beat out Chicago for the 2016 Olympic Games?