AMOR PERFECT UNION: Crimson Ready To Impress

Don’t let the warmish weather and bright smiles of reacquainted friends fool you: school is back in session here in Cambridge and before you know it you’ll be smacking icicles off your Midterm Beard as you look up Seasonal Affective Disorder on WebMD.

Oh yeah, and the economy is falling apart.

Alright, so maybe things aren’t that bad, but all I’m saying is that when you’re six Red Bulls deep trying to finish up a paper that’s three hours late, you might just want a little diversion from the daily grind.

No, I’m not talking about what’s inside that flask you bought from Urban Outfitters as a “decoration.”

I’m talking about Harvard sports, an untapped well of entertainment just waiting for you to “Drill, baby, Drill!”

Right about now is when you whine, “But Harvard’s not good at sports,” and get up from the breakfast table, spilling half-finished coffee all over my column photo before running off to your Science A core (if you have any suggestions on what class to take, my e-mail is at the bottom of this story).

But for the three of you still reading, Harvard is “good” at sports, you just don’t know where to look. Thankfully I’m around to point you in the right direction.

Here’s a sneak peak at some of the best our Crimson athletes have to offer in the next year, starting with the obvious:

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

The defending Ivy League Champions are back, and with 15 starters returning, a repeat performance is certainly a possibility.

Senior Chris Pizzotti is back behind center for the Crimson after being the Ancient Eight’s top-rated quarterback in 2007, and Preseason All-American Andrew Berry, a senior cornerback, leads a fearsome Harvard defensive unit.

While you should be at every home game this season, two in particular merit “can’t miss” status: Friday night’s game against Holy Cross (the second-ever contest under the lights at Harvard Stadium) and, of course, The Game.

This year the Crimson hosts the 125th installment of the Harvard-Yale rivalry, which means that the tailgate will be dry and, as a result, err…whack.

But, word has it that remix guru Girl Talk will be performing at the pep rally the night before, and what would it say about Harvard students’ ingenuity if they couldn’t figure out a way to circumvent those pesky Puritans patrolling the Stadium?

TOMMY’S BOYS

So you’re a new coach being brought in to revitalize a program that has run stagnant in recent years.

The expectations are high, the pressure is on and…the season is an utter disaster.

No, you are not New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi (I’m not bitter). You’re Harvard men’s basketball coach Tommy Amaker, whose team looked great after an amazing upset win over Michigan early on but then sputtered its way to an 8-22 overall record and a three-way tie at the bottom of the Ivy League standings last season.

But this year is different.

Enter Amaker’s vaunted first recruiting class, led by stud prospects like Max Kenyi and Keith Wright.

If the veterans can hold down the fort while the rookies get acclimated and junior Jeremy Lin can build off of his transcendent sophomore campaign, the Crimson just might be a sleeper in the Ivy League.

Oh, and since Harvard and Amaker were just cleared of any improper conduct in recruiting said prospects, we don’t even have to feel guilty when the Crimson starts racking up the W’s.

A DISH SERVED COLD

A 32-2-0 overall record.

Undefeated in conference play.

Ranked No. 1 in the nation.

All of this turning over from last year, and the Harvard women’s hockey team has a chip on its shoulder after being sent home early by Wisconsin in the NCAA Frozen Four.

Expect to see some utter domination on the ice from the Crimson this season.

Despite the graduation of team leader Caitlin Cahow ’08, Harvard is returning nearly all of its top performers, including the 2008 Patty Kazmaier Award winner, senior Sarah Vaillancourt. With the Frozen Four coming to Boston in 2009, this might be your best shot at witnessing a national title won in front of your eyes.

These three teams are just a sample of some great Crimson sports storylines to follow this year. Harvard’s also got plenty to offer in the way of stellar individual athletes. Senior fencer Emily Cross returns to Harvard after leading Team USA’s foil squad to silver in Beijing this summer and All-Americans J.P. O’Connor–a junior wrestler and the toughest 149-pounder you’ll probably ever come across–and Becky Christiansen–the Crimson’s record-smashing high jump queen–make new runs at NCAA titles.

With these great athletes and more–Harvard has the most varsity programs in the nation at 41–you’re bound to find something you like. So when the cold, the problem sets and the sexual frustration get to you, go lose yourself in some Crimson sports for a while. Hell, bring that flask if you want to.

—Staff writer Loren Amor can be reached at lamor@fas.harvard.edu.