Scoped! Jordan B. Weitzen ’08

House: Eliot Concentration: Economics Hometown: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina. Ideal Date: Meeting at a bar already drunk so things progress quickly. What do you look for in a girl: Her ass personality Where to find you on a Saturday night: Participating in the greater Boston area Dungeons and Dragons tournament. Your best pick up line: Is your dad a baker, because you’re fat and smell like cinnamon rolls. Best or worst lie you’ve ever told: “No! I never hooked up with your best friend.” Something you’ve always wanted to tell someone: I have a man crush on Brendan J. Meade, professor of earthquakes, volcanoes, landslides, tsunamis, and other fascinating environmental sciences. Favorite childhood activity: Wondering why I hit puberty so late. Sexiest physical trait: My scoliosis. Best part about Harvard: The free condom box. Worst part about Harvard: The free condom box is usually empty. Describe yourself in 3 words: I’m a ninja! In 15 minutes you are: Compiling a list of my sexual partners in case the test comes back positive... In 15 years you are: Realizing that paying child support for 11 illegitimate children kind of sucks.