This year, instead of presenting you with the most economic or most romantic spring break trips, FM tells you what to do if you were too lazy to plan a trip to Cabo or Bermuda.

America’s Stonehenge:

A wildly popular and scenic tourist destination that is advertised with the cryptic statement/question: “Built by a Native American Culture or a migrant European population? No one knows for sure. A maze of man-made chambers, walls and ceremonial meeting places, America’s Stonehenge is possibly the oldest man-made construction in the United States (over 4000 years old).” The mysterious caves and rock formations are supposedly built by both pre-historic and historic people! Take your girlfriend or your parents—Cancun is overrated.

Nantucket:

The traditional retreat of the rich and famous, this island is largely unpopulated before the storied Annual Daffodil Festival (Apr. 25-27). Some would say that this is for good reason, with the bracing sea breezes, regular rain, and eerily empty Main Street, but FM is inclined to disagree. The water may be frigid, but whenever the wind dies down, beach walks are as romantic as ever. And if it’s raining, stay inside and play Apples to Apples. Sweet life.

Montreal:

For all you underage, budding alcoholics out there, this is the trip for you. Only a train ride of several hours separates you from a lovely drinking age of 18, Canada’s only gift to mankind other than Beaver Tails and maple syrup. It’ll be cold, but the beer blanket should help. While you recover from your hangover, you can tour the famous “Double-Decker City” with beautiful architecture and museums above miles shops and boutiques underground.

Road Trip:

All you need is a car, your friends, a mind-altering substance of your choice, and, of course, a designated driver. If Hollywood is to be believed, it doesn’t matter where you go—it’ll be awesome.

Home:

Apparently it’s where the heart is, but, more importantly, it’s where free food, a full service Laundromat, and your loving parents are. You’ll score points with the rents and have a much needed chance to relax, detox, and catch your breath before the final push. Spend your time devising a Facebook album to convince everyone you clubbed 24/7.

Quick Fix for a Sick Trip