A Villanelle on the Faculty

The Faculty Council mused about its forum,

Attendance at monthly meetings dwindled low.

“We think the problem must be with the quorum!”

“We must not stoop to pressure or implore ‘em,

Who cares if the professors never go?”

The Faculty Council mused about its forum.

“Like Amaker, let’s lower standards for ‘em!

From one-sixth to one-eighth will do, you know;

We think the problem must be with the quorum,”

“And not with our debasement of decorum,

Or with the J. Lorand Matory show,”

The Faculty Council mused about its forum.

Alas, this measure never went before ‘em,

The Dean called off the meeting, and apropos,

We think the problem must be with the quorum.

Oh Faculty! We cannot but deplore ‘em!

What valuable discussion they forgo!

And still they only muse about their forum:

“We think the problem must be with the quorum!”