Transporter 3

Just weeks after the anticipated premiere of the latest James Bond flick “Quantum of Solace,” another muscle-bound action movie full of intrigue and beautiful women hits screens. “Transporter 3” is the latest episode in a series of films following one man—Martin, Frank Martin—who’s followed by death and fantastic explosions everywhere he goes. Unlike Bond, however, you may not have heard of Martin, and it would probably be best to keep it that way.

Jason Statham plays Martin, a man whose skill and precision behind the wheel are unrivalled, leading him to become—you guessed it—the Transporter. His job is simple: move precious cargo from one place to another. As such, he has three rules: never change the deal, no names, and never open the package. Inevitably, these principles attract a villain who uses the Transporter for a deal leading to lots of cool car chases. This provides the premise for a stilted kind of inner conflict as Martin must decide whether to follow his rules or his heart.

Like the Bond series—and any action movie, for that matter—the latest “Transporter” would not be complete without the girl: sexy, preferably exotic, and with a name that makes you wince. Enter Valentina—daughter of the head of environmental protection in Ukraine—played by Natalya Rudakova. She and Martin predictably fall in love while stuck in the same car on a drive across Europe—a romance made laughable by Rudakova’s appalling acting.

In her defense, her lines would be challenging for even the most talented of actors to deliver convincingly. In her first moment of seduction, adjusting Martin’s tie after a scuffle, Valentina delivers the line (in cavewoman monosyllables), “You fight good. But you tie bad.” She solidifies her hold over his heart in a lengthy monologue about food and a thinly veiled analogy of herself as a glass of chilled wine. For a guy who doesn’t open his soul to anyone, Martin is remarkably easy to win over.

The plot is fuzzily sketched out, with side trips that contribute nothing to the storyline except to set the scene for another fight. To cover up this lack of substance, there’s some cheap and flashy editing and a smattering of out-of-place one-liners. Split-second montages connect some scenes, and nearly every other shot in the car flips focus back and forth between Valentina and her Transporter.

Contemporary issues that should be addressed more fully (if they need be brought up at all) are tossed in only for the flickers of recognition they draw from the audience. In one scene, the villain warns with a sinister sneer that the bracelet Martin wears is full of the same liquid explosives that caused the 2006 airport scare in the UK. If Martin strays too far from his car, the liquids will automatically mix and blow him up. Similarly, when hacking into computer systems, Martin’s friend extraneously quips, “You want to see the invasion plans for Iran?” In another parallel to “Quantum of Solace,” the plot centers on the hot topic of environmentalism. In this case, the bad guy tries to manipulate environmental leaders to turn the planet’s trash surplus into personal profit. You might think that these elements would develop into some sort of political commentary, but you’d be wrong.

The acting may be nugatory and the storyline skeletal, but the film does provide a bare framework for car chases and fights. The action sequences are wittily choreographed, if hokey at times. There are quite a few good explosions, which might have been more gripping if we were a little more attached to the characters. While not a good film, “Transporter 3” might make a good videogame—perhaps along the lines of GoldenEye 007?

—Staff writer Rebecca A. Schuetz can be reached at schuetz@fas.harvard.edu.