A New and Improved Survey on Servings

Last week, Harvard University Dining Services released its biannual online Satisfaction Survey, which focuses more on sustainability than on actual food. Though promoting more environmentally friendly eating habits is commendable, “taking shorter showers” and “turning off the lights” should not be part of normal eating routines... Ever. That would be odd. To rectify a certain lack of student voice in the survey, FM has decided to take matters into our own hands to find out what students really want from their dining experience with a survey of our own.

1. If you were stranded on an island and could choose a replenishable supply of one HUDS item, what would it be?
a) Chicken parm—a delectable blend of protein, dairy, and sauce: 25%
b) Carnival cookie—bringing the partay to the island since 1636: 29%
c) None—I’d take the quick and relatively less painful death: 46%

2. What is the biggest improvement you would like to see in HUDS uniforms?
a) Bowties—simple yet classy: 22%
b) Zip-up candelabrum costumes singing “be our guest”: 34%
c) Birthday suit—Domna’s a sexy beast: 44%

3. What Britney Spears song most characterizes HUDS food?
a) Gimme more... of that spinach ricotta pie: 17%
b) Oops... I have indigestion again!: 61%
c) Toxic, I’m slipping under: 22%

The verdict: food first, food compost later. Although Harvard students are avid promoters of saving the environment, as seen in their support for doing away with that silly and wasteful convention of clothes, they would still put food that ensures taste, nutrition, and survival first. Hopefully, HUDS will take up this deliciously revealing piece of evidence and make more soufflés and less squash.