Harvard’s Family Gets Put to the Test Before They Head to Hollywood for the Big Show

An elite team of four Harvard undergraduates—Alexander B. Cohn ’10, Michael T. Henderson ’11, Tana Jambaldorj ’11, Nicholas A. Noyer ’09 and Michelle M. Parilo ’10—will be heading to Los Angeles next week to star in the college Family Feud tournament, airing in mid-November (Carron, Emma, “Harvard Students Ready To Lock Horns on Family Feud,” The Harvard Crimson, Oct. 3). The team members were chosen individually by audition tape, so FM decided to test their family togetherness by asking Harvard-themed Family Feud-style questions to see if their projections of what a group of 100 randomly-polled Harvard students might respond correspond with one another.

At 7 p.m. on Wednesday Oct. 1, it looks as though the “family” of Harvard students is in need of some therapy—the family members don’t even recognize each other, and their responses are no more in line than their scattered family trees.

Fifteen Minutes: In what three “outfits” would you like to see the John Harvard statue dressed up?
Micahel T. Henderson ’11: Bikini, something President Faust would wear, Sarah Palin
Alex B. Cohn ’10: 1970s Black Panter activist, miniature pig breeder, FOP
Tana Jambadorj ’11: Willy Wonka, French maid, cowboy
Nicholas A. Noyer ’09: Peter Shields’ extra-small t-shirt from his Harvard Carnival performance, the finale costumes from “A Chorus Line,” standard Primal Screen attire
Michelle M. Parilo ’10: Mickey Mouse, Santa Clause, a Crimson...oh, wait...

FM: Where’s the best place to study?
MTH: In the room, Lamont, Cabot
ABC: Widener, Café Pamplona, Berryline
TJ: Lamont, law school library, Quincy dining hall
NAN: Widener, Starbucks, my room
MMP: Your room, dining hall, Lamont

FM: Name a famous John.
MTH: Staff, Harvard, Hancock
ABC: Staff, Harvard, Adams
TJ: Harvard, Kerry, Edwards
NAN: Adams, Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, Harvard
MMP: Staff, Harvard, Parilo

FM: What’s the number one thing you would change about Harvard?
MTH: Cable, dining hall hours, section
ABC: 24-hour dining halls, soft serve ice cream machines instead of soft severe froyo
TJ: Winter, Quad, nothing at all
NAN: Location, scheduling of classes on Fridays
MMP: Weather, more social space, location

With all their assorted answers, let’s just say this family’s going to need some major practice to avoid any intra-family feuding come taping time. But if the rigorous Family Feud screening process says they can do it, who are we to disagree?