Summer Songs To 'Superman' To

Since most Harvard students spent their summers either in a musically backward part of the world or trapped in investment banking hell, here’s a recap of the summer’s notable pop hits.

Soulja Boy – “Crank That”

If a breakthrough single is tied to a specific dance, it’s a good indicator that the musician’s not going to be around for long. As Los Del Rio could tell you, originating a fad is the same as having an expiration date. Fortunately for Soulja Boy, he appears to understand this. He makes the most of what will probably be his only moment on the national stage, blurting out as many words as possible before gasping for breath. The straight-off-the-Casio steel drum melody treads a fine line between menace and stupidity, and the lyric “Superman that ho” is the phrase that launched a thousand urbandictionary.com searches. What’s not to love?

Grade: A

Rihanna – “Umbrella”

Live-sounding drums and a Jay-Z pop-in are the two things this song has mildly going for it, but they can’t overcome the central problem: regardless of how many syllables are added to the titular phrase, it’s boring. Rihanna has a decent voice and an enormous marketing machine, but zero personality. “Pon de Replay” channeled the Caribbean to some exciting results, but this one belongs on American Idol. Hopefully this song is just an aberration and the start of a Ja Rule-like career trajectory.

Grade: C

Sean Kingston – “Beautiful Girls”

Moderate vocoding on mid-tempo R&B seems like a fool-proof template for radio hits; I’m surprised that it took this long for someone more appealing than Akon or T-Pain to cash in. Lyrically, Sean’s track is tough but treacly, and manages to pull off using the word “suicidal” in the hook. It’s a lightweight, but it’s a winner.

Grade: B

UGK – “Int’l Players Anthem”

The first verse is the best minute of music released this year. Andre 3000 delivers a tightwire flow over a beautiful Motown sample, and you remember that Outkast is very, very good. Then the drums kick in and the track turns into boilerplate, albeit well-executed, Southern rap, and you remember that this isn’t actually an Outkast song. The cognitive dissonance between sweet music and rough lyrics in the last three quarters is mildly disturbing, but start the song over and everything’s alright again.

Grade: B

Kanye West – “Stronger”

Even though the song it samples is only three years old; even though the idea of sampling Daft Punk should not have survived “Touch It”; even though the execrable Mark Ronson talks all over the only mp3 of it I can find; I still enjoy this song. Kanye’s on some mid-1970s David Bowie shit–he doesn’t even try, but the singles are still solid. He’s running on pure narcissism at this point, but he’s still the best in the world at his job.

Grade: B

M.I.A. – “Paper Planes”

“Paper Planes,” like all of M.I.A.’s “Kala,” is all about appropriation. The way the hook flips Wreckx-N-Effect’s “Rump Shaker” is how the whole album goes: no sex, just violence, now hand over the loot. M.I.A. seems just as comfortable at this track’s slower pace as she does on her more characteristic, dance-oriented songs, and this change of pace makes “Paper Planes” all the more murderous. The track is so good that I might even buy it.

Grade: A

50 Cent – “I Get Money”

Believe it or not, 50 Cent used to be the great underground hope. Somewhere between “How to Rob” and “Wanksta,” there was so much buzz around him that it seemed impossible that he’d ever record trash like this. Like nearly everything he’s done since “In Da Club,” this is just artless misogyny and bank-account-dick-measuring. The lone semi-bright spot is the “Tipsy”-lite beat, but on the whole, this is awful.

Grade: F

—Staff writer Eric L. Fritz can be reached at efritz@fas.harvard.edu.