House (dorm and assigned house): Holworthy and Dunster.

Concentration: English and American Literature and Language

Hometown: London, United Kingdom.

Ideal Date: UNO’s Deep Dish Sundae. Company is optional.

Best way for a guy/girl to get your attention: Wave. Or yell. Really loudly.

Where to find you on a Saturday night: Hanging by my shoelaces from the Light Grid in the Loeb Ex.

Your best pick-up line: You don’t need to wear make-up! I’ll just take my contacts out.

Best or worst lie you’ve ever told: Convincing my best friend I was blind in one eye for three years. Okay, no. But that would be hilarious.

Something you’ve always wanted to tell someone: I don’t think George Bush is a very good president. I just don’t.

Favorite childhood activity: Jumping from high places on to my head.

Sexiest physical trait: My unfortunate and totally incurable speech impediment, which I’ve had since I was a baby.

Best part about Harvard: The women.

Worst part about Harvard: The weather.

Describe yourself in three words: Only three? Shit.

In 15 minutes you are: Helping to shave my roommate’s back.

In 15 years you are: Bankrupt and living off the alimony from my divorce from my disturbingly wealthy and successful Harvard alum ex-wife.

J. Jack Cutmore-Scott