Booze Gives You All the Answers

Statistically speaking, if you’re sitting at a table with 10 men, how many have genital herpes?

If your inner Ken Jennings surmised that an unfortunate 20 percent of your neighbors have infected genitalia, you might want to try your hand at a weekly trivia night.

The main draw at Uno’s Sunday night throwdown, according to many participants, is host Al S. Beuscher, who speaks in a voice stolen from the “Price is Right.” The Bee Gees-loving trivia master says of himself, “People tend to really like me.” Not everyone agrees: Beuscher was “mugged once after trivia because some guy was mad about a question.” Of course, with a $50 Uno’s gift certificate on the line, it’s no surprise that violence breaks out.

While not always resulting in assault and battery, the intoxicating mix of beer and competition does tend to generate rivalries among trivia regulars, especially at John Harvard’s. Somewhat unsuprisingly the Harvard Republican Club—playing as “The Tories”—was the most contentious team a few weeks ago as they lost to the “The Feminine Mistakes.” For their part, “The Feminine Mistakes” enthusiastically praised host Dan P. Donato for his “hot bod.”

Sadly, hot bodies won’t help you with obscure questions that range from geography (What’s the river that runs through Dublin?) to the profoundly disturbing (How many books in the Harvard University library system are known to be bound in human skin?).

If you can’t, for some reason, answer these questions, start hitting the books: Prizes include a $30 gift certificate and enough beer to make your herpes-ridden neighbors look pretty damn good.

So, if you get that itch to compete, Uno’s trivia nights are Sundays at 8 p.m. and John Harvard’s are Mondays at 9:30 p.m. But watch out next time you hit up Widener.There are three.