Dean David Pilbeam: Man of a Thousand Faces

Who is David Pilbeam? The metaphysical complications of a question like this could leave philosophers debating for days. However, for many Harvard students, Pilbeam is interim dean of the College, social science professor, paleontologist and, of course, the person responsible for squashing UC party grants. But for all the self-righteous outrage in the fallout of Pilbeam’s controversial decision earlier this fall, can Harvard students pick him out of a lineup?

A recent survey says maybe, but don’t put your money on it.

In a super-scientific poll conducted among 40 Harvard students in Annenberg Hall and Lamont Library Café, students were asked to choose from four photographs to identify the dean. After a grueling but fair selection process, Pilbeam’s picture was placed among those of British actor Sir Ian Holm (Bilbo Baggins in “The Lord of the Rings”), musician Elvis Costello, and folk-singer-turned-fundamentalist Yusuf Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens). The results?

While 55 percent of students polled correctly identified the dean, 25 percent chose Costello, with 12.5 percent and 7.5 percent choosing Holm and Islam respectively.

It was clear, however, that much of the accuracy was due to certain “give-aways.” Some participants noted that Cat Stevens’ photo looked too well developed. Other students had prior knowledge of the other choices, and spotted Pilbeam by process of elimination. “Oh dear…I have absolutely no idea what he looks like,” said one student, who then proceeded to select the correct answer by a well-honed method he called “random guessing.”

Others, good students that they are, actually knew the answer—they had jumped at one of the opportunities to hear the dean speak. Whatever the case, the important question is: can we decry a man who we can barely pick out of a lineup?

(Ed. note: Yes.)