Jake G. Cohen

My Favorite Lil’ Wayne Lines from 2007 and their Personal Pop Culture Equivalents



5. “Five karats on her finger, got her hand smitten / But everybody get a ring even Scottie Pippen / Everybody got a thing but I guess mine isn’t / What ma envisioned.” (From “Let’s Talk (We the Best)”)



Personal Pop Culture Equivalent (PPCE): Greg Oden getting injured. Like Weezy getting rejected by his girl, that shit hurt.



4. “Put a mothafucka on ice like Maple Leaves / That’s a hockey team and I ain’t on no hockey team / But I’m a champion, where’s the fucking Rocky theme? / Damn, rest in peace Apollo Creed / I’m a monster, every day is Halloween.” (From “Upgrade”)



PPCE: The Youtube video of the Roots watching “2 Girls 1 Cup.” Because watching ?uestlove scream like a girl is almost as funny as a rapper referencing the NHL.



3. “Make a scary movie, they ‘Scream’-in when I rhyme / I’m a King, you can ask Stephen if I’m lyin’ / I’m a Prince, too demandin’ like my mom / Too bold, too cold, like wet salami.” (From “We Takin’ Over (Remix)”)



PPCE: “Scream,” Stephen King, and Prince. Because I’m fairly literal.



2. “I’m tryin’ to be polite / But you bitches in my hair like the fuckin’ po-lice” (From “Gossip”)



PPCE: “The Wire.” Because both Weezy and the HBO drama are morally ambiguous, are the best at what they do, and keep me from doing anything productive with my life.



1. “And I know you probably wish you never met me / And I just wish you never forget me.”



PPCE: “The Darjeeling Limited” and LCD Soundsystem’s “All My Friends.” Because look, I get emotional sometimes, okay?



—Jake G. Cohen ’09 is outgoing Music Editor and incoming Arts Chair. He’s a sensitive thug. He needs a hug.