Emily G.W. Chau

My parents always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be—provided that I studied very, very hard, got into a good college, and beat everyone in 2nd grade math class—and when I was young, I believed them. But cold-hearted reality has since set in. On the brink of graduation, I find myself doubting that I can have it all: the dream job, the money to make rent in New York City, and, most importantly, true love with an intelligent, yet handsome, and preferably rich, husband.

Whenever I get down on myself like this, I turn towards these Five Extraordinary Housewives as sources of inspiration:

5. Carol Brady: Here’s a story of a lovely lady, who was able to raise six children and still sport a smile. How?

4. Mrs. Robinson: Forever immortalized by Simon and Garfunkel, Benjamin Braddock’s temptress reminds us that age is just a number. Here’s to her killer calves and to proving my point that 50 is the new 30.

3. Lucille Ball: I love Lucy. Life is a series of awkward events, and you might as well face it with a quirky sense of humor. Lucy shows that you can revel in your inner you and still get a hubby with a foreign accent.

2. Helen Parr (aka Elastigirl; aka Mrs. Incredible): Not just a metaphoric superhero, Helen Parr is also a literal one. She proves that there are all sorts of advantages to being flexible—like saving the day.

1. The Wife of Bath: Said to be one of the first feminist characters in literature, Chaucer’s Wife of Bath knows how to live the good life. Five husbands, a trip to Canterbury, and 600 years later, she’s still as sassy as ever.

—Emily G.W. Chau ’08 is the outgoing Campus Arts editor. She apologizes to her thesis advisor in advance for her gross gloss of the Wife of Bath.