Abstinence Activist, Blogger Clash on Sex

If campus sex blogger Lena Chen ’09 and True Love Revolution (TLR) President Jane M. Fredell ’09 have anything in common, it is discontent with the Harvard dating scene.

And they’re not the only ones.

When the two women asked a crowd of about 100 students gathered in the Winthrop House Junior Common Room whether they were satisfied with their sex lives, about five students raised their hands.

“You have two options: you can be married or you can engage in crazy carnal hookups void of anything emotional,” Chen said to explain her differences with TLR.

Chen and Fredell found unlikely common ground last night as they discussed the role of sex in relationships at Harvard.

Fredell’s group, TLR, originated during the summer of 2006, around the same time that Chen’s blog, “Sex and the Ivy,” took off in popularity. Both have come under attack for their extreme attitudes toward sex.

“I feel that many students are confused and disoriented. We can’t decide which way to go—to have sex or to not have sex,” said Reina M. Boc ’09, of the environment at Harvard, which she said is not conducive to dating.

And though Fredell’s and Chen’s views on the values of love, sex, and the legitimacy of the institution of marriage differ drastically, both agree on one thing: sex and relationships should be taken more seriously in college.

“Two people use each other as battery operated objects,” Chen said of the superficial level of dating that often develops between students.

Awkwardness hung thick in the air as questions from audience members moved from philosophical debates on love to personal inquiries about sexual intercourse.

Fredell’s jaw dropped when she was asked what it felt like to be sexually abstinent.

“We were all abstinent at one point!” she replied. “It’s not like we’re locking ourselves in our rooms and saying, ‘Don’t touch me or look at me until marriage!’”

A question on more than one student’s mind was whether students who choose abstinence might find themselves disappointed when they experience their first sexual encounter.

“How hard can it be? Everyone does it,” Fredell said, looking to Chen. “I don’t know, I’ve never had sex.”

“If we can cure cancer, we can find the G-spot,” Chen added. “Taking that we’ll probably marry within the Ivy League, I think we tend to pick things up pretty quickly.”