Their interests differ to say the least, but their closets may be surprisingly alike (no matter how long they spend in them). Details magazine once pointed out the similarities between preppy and gay fashion, including popped collars and braided bracelets (who couldn’t use a good roping now and then?). FM takes the theme straight to Harvard, the better to help you understand the world in which you live. Whether he loves the Head of the Charles or just head from Charles, the Harvard man looks classy yet cool, stylish but slack. Just remember one thing: these guys always come out on top.

Ralph Lauren Polo Shirt: No worries if you don’t actually play polo, mounted men whacking balls with sticks might get him going anyway.

Concealed bags under the eyes: Whether exhausted from last week’s island-hop or last night’s bar-hop, his weapon of choice is Kiehls. “Wait, there’s some white stuff on your face...lotion?”

Blackberry: “So then I said, expensive? Don’t worry darling–Daddy’s plastic!”

Vineyard Vines Belt: A true necessity for Nantucket. Who wouldn’t want crabs all over his lower regions?

Squash racket: He isn’t afraid to dominate any Ivy League challenger. Just don’t forget, when dealing with those blue balls, give them a good rub before you start playing.

Plaid Shorts: Nothing says loud and proud like a pair of patchwork pants.

Boat Shoes: Perfect for cruising the scene or the sea.

Gay or Preppy?