POPSCREEN: Matchbox Twenty

“Let us tour the History of the World together, with Rob Thomas as our guide!” this video seems to scream. You have reservations about this. What of historical integrity? Of respect for the dead and gone? “Nonsense!” chuckles the video. And so begins the band’s latest video mastercraft: a rapid-fire history lesson from the 1960s through today.

Rob Thomas heralds the birth of Modern Time with delicate overhead claps, jamming in the NASA control center while Neil Armstrong bounces like a lunar Tigger in the background. “I’m waking up at the start of the end of the world,” Rob-Thom narrates via song.

We learn that contemporary history is more about Rob Thomas’s desperate inner-state than you ever realized (“I started crying and I couldn’t stop myself”), and shift nervously in our seats. Rob fixes you with his crazy, crazy eyes—and so you relent to play therapist to his apocalyptic paranoia a tad bit longer.

Rob, Lord of Time, then leads you through a quick stock-film montage: Muhammad Ali fights! Feminism rules! Pelé wins! Matchbox Twenty plays! The Wall falls!

Finally, Rob sings “I believe the world is coming to an end” while fireworks explode behind him. Which actualizes the subtext: the apocalyptic terror in the song is really sheer elation.

In fact, Rob reveals, we are all masochists. We can’t wait for the end, so we can revel in a glorified YouTube clip that packs modern world history into a three-minute adrenaline rush.

That, or we’re rejoicing in our arrival at our oh-my-gosh-super-incredible societal situation, epitomized by shots of Hillary and Obama. Look how far we’ve come—we went to space, and now non-whites and chicks are running for office!

“It don’t really matter anyways,” Rob Thomas seems to say. “I got this voice that makes anything sound good: ‘well it’s cool, cool, baby it’s all cool, now it’s over for me and it’s over for you.’ See, that looks tired and silly on paper, but when I sing it, it’s a different story. Forget AP US, kids. Just watch the video baby—it’s all cool.”