"At Least It's Not Crack": FM's Guide to Stimulants

Exams are upon us, along with the all-nighters and caffeine-induced jitters that accompany them. Let FM guide you down the primrose path of Red Bull and Rockstar to show you what drink of choice will help you stay awake over those textbooks.

Unlike heroin, caffeine is best used when ingested in small doses throughout the night. According to a study co-authored by Charles A. Czeisler, a professor of sleep medicine at the Medical School, frequent, small amounts of caffeine can help maintain cognitive abilities for extended periods.

On average, a cup of brewed coffee from the dining hall contains about 100 milligrams (mg) of caffeine, as opposed to an 8.2 ounce can of Red Bull which has about 80 mg. Interestingly, Diet Coke outweighs regular Coke by a score of 46 mg to 34, so those looking to stay slim should plan on staying up a little later.

Though it might be tempting to get out of an exam by making yourself sick by ingesting too much caffeine, that would be pretty much impossible. Somebody (a desperate pre-med, perhaps?) looking to achieve a fatal overdose would need to sit down and chug 100 cups of coffee.

“I think there’s a lethal dose of almost anything,” says HMS Professor Don Coen. “High-enough doses of caffeine can certainly cause seizures, but that’s not from the kind of dose people would ordinarily take.”

Bring on the double-tall espresso macchiatos.