An Older Woman Introduces Us To The Joy of Sex

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me....

...Or you and him. Or you and her. Or just you, solo....

Whatever carnal combination you choose, the possibilities for sex discussion are endless. Indeed, the 252 pages of Jane Bogart’s newly released paperback, “Sexploration: The Ultimate Guide to Feeling Truly Great in Bed,” attest to that fact.

A light and amusing read, this book has something for everyone—whether you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, looking to add to your dirty talk vocabulary, or trying to get in touch with your inner fetishist.

Targeted readers for this book include: hormonal adolescents, prime-of-life adults (including pregnant women), mid-life-crisis victims, aging seniors (!), gays, straights, bisexuals, male, female, transgender...the list goes on.

Not surprisingly, the book’s effort to appeal to a wide audience means that it has more breadth than depth; but chances are, you’ll be so diverted by the diagrams, questionnaires, and often hilarious testimonials that you won’t even notice the relative superficiality of its content.

Although the book tries a little too hard to touch upon all possible sex-related topics, the author does prove she’s done her homework.

But such extensive background research should be expected, given that Bogart is a nationally known “sexpert” who first appeared on MTV’s “First National Sex Quiz” and “True Life: I Need a Sex Rx.”

She even earned herself the nickname “Sex Jane” during her ten-year stint as Director of Health Promotion at New York University.

Yes, “Sex Jane” does deliver the advice, tips, and anecdotes she advertises on her book’s back cover.

But the quality of these deliveries ranges from useful to meaningless to absurdly comical.

For example, she cites a list from the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States of the defining traits of a sexually healthy adult, which includes the following qualification: “Expresses love and intimacy in appropriate ways.”

Ummm, okay...but who defines what is “appropriate”? That criterion has almost no meaning.

Other similarly vague and unhelpful statements make infrequent—but still painful—appearances throughout the book.

Happily, more frequently one finds these pages filled with practical and convenient information accompanied by a generous sprinkling of entertaining stories.

For instance, when Bogart discusses the influence of relationship history on one’s dating outlook, she includes an anecdote from a 14-year-old: “The first boy I ever dated kissed with a soggy open mouth...I felt as if I were being forced to lick the side of a stagnant well. His tongue was a live, wriggling fish that reeked of algae and muck that left a trail of glistening slime across my lips...[So] I figured that kissing was just another of those nasty things that adults had to endure, like scraping dinner plates and wiping baby’s [sic] asses....”

Another diverting tale appears in the section about the impact of “life changes” upon one’s sex life.

A pregnant couple reminisces, “When we finally [found a position that worked] and were doing the deed, I swear that I could feel the baby’s head against the tip of my dick.

“That really freaked me out. I was afraid that I was going to hurt her or that she’d have some weird memory of something poking her in the head right before she was born. I just had to stop.”

If you want a super kinky book with lots of details and graphic instructions, then “Sexploration” isn’t for you. The tone of this book is more self-help than Kama Sutra. (Though there are a few interesting exercises with rather explicit explanations.)

Not that Bogart is overly preachy or condescending—it’s just that her overarching goal is to get her readers to feel comfortable with themselves and with their desires.

To that end, she advocates both steamy things, like trying sex toys or role-playing, as well as non-steamy things, like examining how parental sexual attitudes affect your own perspective or considering how cultural and religious values may impact your sex life.

Bogart even includes self-assessment questions at the end of every section, with blank lines for readers to write in their own responses.

(This interesting feature renders the book strangely reminiscent of a workbook, and its actual effectiveness remains unclear.)

So if you’re looking to improve your sex life, and you want an overview that addresses both your body and your mind—while also keeping a low-key, fun attitude—then you’ll want to (s)explore this book.

But if you have more specific needs or desires, well, there’s always the Internet.

Sexploration
By Jane Bogart
Penguin
Out Now