Partisans Clash in Paintball War

The right team won. There were no left-overs on the field last night, as the Harvard College Republicans crushed the Democrats at their inaugural “bipartisan paintball brawl” in Somerville.

The motley crew loitering by Johnston Gate before the show-down sported layers of sweaters beneath custom-made red and blue T-shirts. Among the mostly male crowd, several had handled firearms before. Some were paintball tournament veterans, with battle scars—and personal guns costing as much as $800—dating from their middle school years.

The event originated from the political pillow-talk of two freshmen roommates, a Republican from Austin, Texas, and his Democratic counterpart from Brookline, Mass., who were seeking alternative forums in which the clubs could interact.

“We have debates all year,” said Republican Zachary V. Smith ’09, who helped organize the event with Daniel A.F. Demetri ’09. “We wanted a more social event to let some partisan tension go.”

“As a Republican, I’m excited about a war the Democrats actually support,” he added drily.

The aim of yesterday’s game was to capture a flag—unadorned by stars and stripes—placed in the middle of a room and to carry it deep into enemy territory.

“Our tactic is to be like George Bush’s weapons of mass destruction,” quipped Eric P. Lesser ’07, the president of the Democrats, “Silent, deadly, and hard to find.”

The players donned Darth Vader-like helmets, loaded their rifles with gumball-sized balls of green paint, then headed for opposite sides of the room. The fighters took cover behind primary-colored geometric structures shooting sniper-like fire at each other.

“Here’s my take,” said Matt Falbe, an employee at Boston Paintball, where the event took place. “I don’t think the Democrats should get guns, but if the Republicans shoot them they get the death penalty.”

The night confirmed the superiority of the Right in military matters.

Of 16 rounds, the Republicans won 12, with two draws. Of 362 points, the Republicans boasted 293.

Asked to account for his party’s superior skills, Philip L. Perez ’09 pointed to the Republican “lack of gun control.”

“I guess we opt for diplomacy instead of guns,” said Lesser.

Other members of the Democrats were more straightforward.

“We’re not gun-toting maniacs,” said Adam J. Scheuer ’06.

Members of both teams looked to political greats for guidance.

“The ghost of Reagan leads me, I don’t know about the other guys,” said Republican Matthew D. McCluskey ’07, who was responsible for running the flag into blue territory during the first game. “He tells me when to duck and things. It’s kind of like Obi-Wan Kenobi really.”

“As I was going, I was channelling Hillary,” said Rebecca P. Buckwalter ’08, who led the Democrats to their only two victories of the night.

The event cost $3,400 to organize, prompting Smith and Demetri to seek UC and corporate sponsorship, in addition to asking for $25 contributions from each participant.

Spidersplat, an auspiciously named Boston-based search engine marketing firm, also put $600 toward the game, seizing the opportunity to attract students to their internship program.

“It’s great to be able to work with groups in schools,” said Sean Carney, one of six Spidersplat employees to attend and participate in the paintball extravaganza.

The students also petitioned the National Rifle Association for contributions, but said the organization never returned their call.

—Staff writer Natalie I. Sherman can be reached at nsherman@fas.harvard.edu.