15 Ways Around Webmail

Persistent “unscheduled e-mail service intermittencies” have returned fas email users to the archaic era of snail-mail and (God forbid) face-to-face interaction for the last week (see Crimson article: “Erratic E-mail Pesters Students,” 2/9/06). FM offers 15 ways to communicate when the network won’t cooperate.

1) Coded mixes on iTunes: “Let’s Get It On” doesn’t leave much room for interpretation

2) Smoke signals (warning: don’t let HUPD see the smoke out the window)

3) Carrier pigeons

4) Telegram stop meet you at J. Harvard statue stop

5) Hobo couriers

6) txt msg (especially convenient for the wireless-less Sanders Theater)

7) Telepathy

8) Semaphore, although this would be awkward in section

9) gmail (you might not want to use your account “sexyslut@gmail.com” to submit your response paper to your Lit TF)

10) Just talk to yourself. You’re the only person who likes you anyway.

11) Whistles—if it’s good enough for Captain Von Trapp, it’s good enough for you.

12) Séance

13) Those newfangled fax machines I’ve heard so much about

14) Morse code via the Memorial Church bells (best for long communiqués in the wee hours of the morning)

15) Alphabet Soup