GETTING READY

Paris it was not, but at least the smell of stale beer had successfully been aired out of the Sanctum, The Crimson’s venue for parties, writers’ meetings, and—at long last—its very first fashion show.

Five hopeful designers gathered to show off the fruits of their labor, outfits constructed from FM’s parsimonious combination of 24 dollars and 24 hours.

Three hours after turning in their outfits, the models and designers returned to The Crimson, ready to rock the runway.

As the designers applied eleventh hour alterations and eyeshadow to their canvases, denim-sporting spectators mounted the stairs to the Sanctum.

The clock struck seven and the judges took their places. Our professor judges—Anne F. Rothenberg Professor of the Humanities Homi Bhabha and James F. Rothenberg Professor of Romance Languages and Literatures and of Comparative Literature Diana Sorensen—came with their respective daughters in tow, first-year Cornell undergraduate Leah Bhabha and Lisa K. Goodrich ’07. Former FM cover model Adrienne M. White ’08 and Adam P. Schneider ’07, a former FM associate editor and VP of Lewis Albert Corporation, took their places alongside the profs, and the show began.

THE SHOW

The long limbed mannequins stalked into The Crimson’s Sanctum one by one, heads bobbing to the techno beats spun by Daniel “D.J.” J. Mandel ’08. Scotch-swilling emcee Warland “Trey” Lance Kollmer III ’07 introduced each design, often correctly.

The regal Rachel F. Banay ’07-’08 appeared first in an aubergine empire-waisted creation by Lucy W. Baird ’10.

Ballet-flat wearing sprite Phoebe L. Zen ’08 rocked the next camo-too-cool-for-you design, made by Irene S. Choi ’07.

Eliot enthusiasts burst into whoops as crowd favorite designer/model Maya E. Frommer ’07 sashayed down the runway clad in a business-meets-Tokyo-nights ensemble. “Maya only had one hour for each 24th of this dress,” quipped Kollmer. Weak laughter ensued.

The spectators gasped as model Anne E. Berndtson ’08 removed the jacket covering her dress, made by Tessa C. Petrich ’07, to reveal an exposed back accented by a heavy gold chain draped below her shoulder blades.

Finally, designer/model Jamie Renee Smith ’08 exploded through the Sanctum’s double doors, fighting off illness to strut her red and black polka dotted stuff. She didn’t trip, but her ensemble included elbow pads, just in case.

At the conclusion of the formal presentation, a spontaneous “walk-off” occurred, and each model swaggered down the runway for a final spin.

JUDGEMENT

The designers and models gathered around the judges’ table in a semi-circle of thrifty threads. An intense Q-and-A session followed, as each designer explained and defended her vision.

“I particularly like the way you let the thread interrupt the white,” Bhabha said to Frommer. “The inspiration was my unfortunate future, which is probably working in an investment bank,” explained Frommer. “This is for day and night.”

The Baird and Banay team faced the proverbial music next, receiving compliments from Schneider for the dress’ clean aesthetic and eggplant hue. The judges commented on Choi’s bare, night-club ready ensemble. “Obviously, this is a more warm weather outfit,” said Schneider.

Petrich garnered admiration for her resourcefulness—she found her dress’ chain accent from Dickson Brothers hardware store and “the bodice comes from the stuff you use to line kitchen cabinets.”

Smith explained her two piece, lady-bug color-schemed extravaganza as “something that was so high fashion it could never be worn in real life.” She pointed out the skirt’s dramatic stiches. “It’s very clear what I’ve lifted and adjusted.”

“You’ve turned it into a deliberate thing,” said Sorensen, nodding.

The audience filed out and the judges, hunched over their score cards, graded each outfit on its aesthetics, creativity, craftsmanship, and “je ne sais quoi.”

Several hours of counting later (damn the humanities!), the results were in. Who won gallons of prestige and a forty of malt liquor?

Overnight Couture