An Online Conversation With the Sandwich Board Guru

It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: Your alarm malfunctions, you arrive to class late for the exam you didn’t know you had, and then you realize that...you forgot to register your Mathalympics flyer before posting it on the sandwich boards between the Yard and the Science Center. Luckily, registering is as easy: simply e-mail “sandwich@fas.harvard.edu.” During an interview with FM (conducted over e-mail, of course) last week, this enigmatic fas account divulged its deepest feelings on life, liberty, and lunchmeat.

Fifteen Minutes: What is your favorite type of sandwich?

sandwich@fas.harvard.edu: Cardullo’s “Parisian”: Granny Smith apple, spicy mustard, and brie cheese on a baguette.

FM: Do people ever e-mail you trying to get sandwiches?

S@F: Yes, I did once receive an e-mail asking about sandwich pricing in the dining halls.

FM: Does everyone who posts on the sandwich boards receive permission?

S@F: Applicants are carefully screened by a top secret committee before receiving permission. I’m really not at liberty to reveal more than that.

FM: Is there a punishment for posting without permission? What kind? If not, what would you recommend?

S@F: Yes, of course. The consequences are severe and too graphic for print.

FM: What kinds of applicants are declined permission to post on the sandwich boards?

S@F: Those who are not affiliated with Harvard College...and those we don’t like.

FM: First sandwich@fas. What’s next in your career?

S@F: Well, the sandwich position does command the respect of the Harvard community, but it’s lonely at the top. I hope I’ll someday be serving as webmaster@fas or keeping up with the demand of my.harvard.edu.

FM: Who is sandwich@fas?

S@F: I prefer not to allow myself to be labeled. I think there’s a little bit of sandwich in all of us.

FM: How long does it take to receive permission to post? Is there a waitlist?

S@F: There is no waitlist, and it usually takes less than a day to get a response. I’m just that good!

FM: How do you feel about spam?

S@F: Delicious on pumpernickel!