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DEAR NIKKI: Welcome Spring!

Advice Column

By Nicole B. Urken, Crimson Staff Writer

Dear Nikki,

This guy in one of my sections asked me to go out for coffee with him the other day, but I don’t really think I’m interested in him. Do you still think it’s worth going out with him anyway?

—Deliberating Dater

Dear Deliberating Dater,

So... it is definitely upon us, that “de-lovely” time of year: spring. The time of year when Harvard men remember that they are, in fact, mammals. And, it appears that this one has bowed to his natural instincts and has taken the initiative to ask you out. In fact, it seems he’s even of a higher breed, asking you on a date instead of bluntly groping you at the Mather Lather. We welcome spring! We have moved away from the winter months when Harvardians can comfortably submerge themselves in their intellects, finding satisfaction in contemplating Kant’s categorical imperative, finding derivatives of polynomial equations, and trying parler français with a convincing accent. We have now (thank goodness!) moved to a season filled with more dates; no lie...it’s statistically proven, even at Harvard, where the lack of a formal dating scene is often lamented (but rarely rectified.) Springs brings out a new kind of “game theory.” Astronomy now connotes twinkling stars and not simply problem sets.

Accept the date. I must admit, I can empathize with your hesitancy, as your personal “taste buds” don’t relish the idea of the intimacy reaching beyond the ends of your coffee table. But, despite that, I still think you should take the plunge. Harvard students seem to fall into comfortable social rhythms, and it’s important to break free once in awhile. There is something valid behind the oft quoted phrase, “have an open mind.” You may like more about this person than you thought you would. After all, the fact that he’s interested in you clearly indicates his impeccable taste, no? And even if you are still positive after one rendezvous that you’re not amenable to more dates, at least you will have taken a chance (and maybe even found a way to make section more interesting.) While I certainly do not advocate trashing your image of Prince Charming, going out with different types of people will expand your horizons. Remember that it takes time and context to see whether a pairing has the potential to “jive.” When Michelle Pfeiffer finds her true love George Clooney in just “one fine day,” even romantic comedy fans like myself know that life just doesn’t happen that way. So, let go a bit. Relax. Give this a chance.

Why is this guy shedding his winter skin? I don’t know...maybe it’s your section prowess, or the onset of mini-skirts. But regardless, the bottom line is: go out, have fun, drink coffee. If that’s as far as you want it to go, fine. He’ll understand. Going out on one date doesn’t hold you to a contract signed in caffeine. And, if you have a good time, you can then go for dinner... it’ll be delightful, it’ll be delicious, it’ll be de-lovely...

Sincerely,

Nikki, who is currently wearing pink shoes in celebration of spring.

—”Dear Nikki” will run on Mondays. Send letters to DearNikki@thecrimson.com. Letters will be published anonymously.

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