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DEAR WHOM? ... DEAR NIKKI

Advice Column

By Nicole B. Urken, Crimson Staff Writer

When I finally pressed the ‘end’ button on my cell phone, I realized that my mother’s voicemail had managed to outlast my entire walk across campus. Time: 4 minutes, 22 seconds.

I am fortunate enough to have reached that stage in life when my parents have begun to ask me for advice, and when the delusional security of my younger years has vanished. Okay, so maybe ‘fortunate’ is an overstatement. But despite the dramatic collapse of my safe childhood bastion, being summoned for advice has actually been liberating in some ways. And my mother, a recent divorcée, now actually listens to my supposed ‘analyses.’

One day after one of our notoriously long conversations, she had an idea for me, “You know, Nicole,” she said. “You should really start an advice column. You have something to say.” I, of course, immediately laughed it off. Who am I to provide advice to others? How can I help others when I even have trouble solving my own problems?

But while in recent months I may have surrendered my role as recipient of parental advice, this time I ultimately listened to her. In fact, the more I thought about her idea, the more it made sense. Who says you need a PhD in psychology to offer up advice that’s worth chewing over? I have honed my talents giving advice to my mother—no easy task, I assure you—but I can also relate to all of you. After all, we share this fast-paced, hormone-raging, competitive, emotional, exciting, turbulent, humiliating, and exhilarating college world. While I may not have a degree, I have my experience and opinions. And I’m willing to share them. In fact, I can assure you that I have expertise in klutziness, terrible decisions, bad relationships, roommate commotion and, of course, painful high heel shoes.

So, I introduce to you, Nikki. And this is what I promise: In this column I will be a straight-talker. I won’t give you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. This column is for you. Not so that you can enshrine my advice as gospel, but so that you can get an honest opinion. Feel free to agree with it. Or disagree with it. But, at the very least, reflect on it.

As they say, life is not what happens to us but instead how we react to what happens to us. And the more we discuss how to cope with life’s many obstacles and triumphs, the better off we all are. And let’s be honest, there are only so many times your roommates are going to want to hear that same dramatic story again...so, send it to me!

—”Dear Nikki” will run on Mondays. Send letters to DearNikki@thecrimson.com. Letters will be published anonymously.

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