My Child is Smarter than Yours!

Parents congregated this weekend at Eliot House Dining Hall for the Annual Junior Parents’ Weekend Ice Cream Bash, giving up quality time with their children for bragging opportunities, whipped cream, and M&M’s—all over 60 gallons of ice cream. Some of the highlights:

4:40p.m. Matt J. Glazer ’06, Undergraduate Council president and model son, breaks for the sundae line with his mother, dressed in suave browns to complement his now legendary hair.

4:46p.m. A parental Bridget Jones look-alike shows off her pinstriped mini-skirt and tank top, decorated with all the glitz of a gaudy Christmas tree. She scoops a sundae into her pouty mouth.

5:02p.m. A blonde social butterfly begins the sticky process of detaching herself from her mother. “Steven’s club is having an event tonight,” she says. A male (Steven?) explains: “It’s a party.” But that wasn’t in the mother’s plans, “I guess I was thinking of a museum,” she says.

5:08p.m. It’s past closing time, but a few ice-cream diehards remain. A lonely husband and wife sit along the wall, separated by a chair. The wife looks away, and her husband hunches like an eagle, his dark eyebrows and bald forehead scrunched into a neutral frown. Beside them, a small puddle of chocolate sauce and lonely napkins lie on the floor, waiting to be scooped up.