A. Haven Thompson ’07: Co-Chair

In what decade does Thompson live? To our great happiness, Haven’s side ponytails, poofy party dresses, and bright pink hoop earrings belie the truth: she lives right here, on Earth. She just has that remarkable ability to exist simultaneously in a place and out of it—she’s there in the moment with you, but she never lets the moment’s constraints get in her way.

This semester, she has written a serious and important scrutiny, and she has also organized a fashion shoot. Haven’s creativity is that elastic. Next semester, as magazine chair, you can be sure the only holding down will be done on her terms. Nothing—not the time of day, not the unprecedented volume of paper deadlines, not the level of awkward tension in a room—can stop Haven, and we’re so glad.

Stephen M. Fee ’07: Co-Chair

Fee, author of a column premised on whining, poses weekly for photos whose purpose is to portray him as unflatteringly as possible—and never complains. This is not because Stephen is a masochist; if there’s anyone who will stand up for himself in the face of mistreatment (or for that matter, for anyone else who has been mistreated, may have been mistreated, or might in the future be mistreated), it’s Stephen. He doesn’t complain because he really doesn’t care. His energy goes to more important purposes, like re-reading his weathered copy of “On the Rez,” a book about Native American marginalization.

Watch out. The compassion he brings to journalism could single-handedly save this paper’s so-called credibility crisis. At the very least, it will ensure this magazine’s high quality next year.

Leon Neyfakh ’07: Editor-at-Large

In short, Leon is the meanest writer on staff. Mean, like, as in kind. He once clowned the entire staff of FM nto thinking he was too nice and too indie for them. This turned out not to be true, him being really just sort of indie and not that nice. In other words, a total dick. Basically, a con artist. Point is, Leon is literally skinny (!!!). Next year he’ll essentially keep up the good work.

Jenny P. Jordan ’08: Associate

Though a graduate of the famed Sidwell Friends School in Washington, D.C., don’t let her Quaker background fool you—Jenny has already proven herself more than able to cover a wide swath of religions—well, so long as its Mormonism. Jenny hopes to expand on this already diverse area of coverage with her editing skills in the next year.

M. Aidan Kelly ’08: Associate

Kelly has Irish blood coursing through his veins. Wait, we are kidding. He has alcohol pumping through his veins. And as an incoming associate and staff director, Aidan will certainly provide the “fun” for FM next year. All those years partying in an all-boys Catholic school certainly have paid off! It’s also where he learned to make that face.

Aria S.K. Laskin ’08: Associate

Long feared as an enemy of the state, FM has finally warmed up to this representative of our northerly neighbor and let her in on our most intimate secrets. The magazine has benefitted tremendously from Aria’s thoroughness and ability, but be careful. Everyone, particularly compers, should remember that Aria’s reporting know-how may help gain her access to the launch codes. So watch out.—U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Daniel J. Mandel ’08: Associate

Now that Danny’s beloved White Sox have finally managed to end their 88-year World Series drought, it seems anything is possible—like getting Skip Gates’ cell phone digits! Danny will look to blow up other campus celebrities’ mobiles as one of the new FM associates. Next on the list: Harvey C. Mansfield ’53, Theda Skocpol, and Marjorie Garber!

Sam C. Scott ’08: Associate

Though far better-spoken, handsomer, and much more Georginian, Sam has expressed excitement at being looked on in the same favorable manner that fellow Sports-defecter Evan R. Johnson currently is. Shouldn’t be too hard to top that though, since Sam has already proven himself more than capable at not ruining our eardrums.

Sam Teller ’08: Associate

Improv comic, tour guide, former UC Rep, and snake tamer, Sam has little left to accomplish in his life except to be an associate for FM. He already runs a small country, and we hear he invented Facebook/Dormaid. We welcome the young man aboard, and don’t forget, for when you’re old—Teller is Steller in 2036.

April H.N. Yee ’08: Associate

Now known far and wide as Miss April, this Ohio native is actually much better remembered as a graduate of the high school that all the kids in “Traffic” went to. So when you see her around, compers, make sure to find out the proper thing to do with a kid that O.D.’s. She might also give you a hint or two about how to be a good reporter.

Laura C. McKiernan ’08: Co-Photo Czar

Milkshakes might bring all the boys to the yard, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they like to get their pictures taken. Laura has already used both her wits and her sass to get pictures of some of the hardest-to-get-at figures on campus (think Lawrence H. Summers, post-vote of lack of confidence), and will continue to do so in the next year as one of the beloved FM photo czars.

Matthew R. Conroy ’07: Co-Photo Czar

After their first week working with Matt, the Chrises of Bell Lap fame adamantly refused to work with any other of the FM junior photo execs, claiming that the rest were, “too d-baggy to work with,” even though they had yet to meet any of them. We’re glad to welcome Conroy aboard, whose newly acquired knowledge of poop, toilets, and striking out with women will prove vital to the morale of the board.

Ashley M. Pletz ’08: Designer

Ashley is hilarious. That is, of course, if you are referring to her Midwestern accent. But her addiction to all things dairy doesn’t keep her from doing a damn good designing job for the magazine. Plus, she always brings cheese to the production suite, which is nice, especially next year when we call Ashley at 4 a.m. to recover all the pages we lost. Hopefully she won’t go running back to PBHA.

The New Guard