Almanac Predicts DOOM (Damn lOng cOld Months)

Blustery blizzards on Saturday, sweltering sunshine on Tuesday—seems like Cambridge’s weather is as loony as its panhandlers. To get to the bottom of our freaky climate, FM checked out ye olde bastion of meteorological knowledge: The Old Farmer’s Almanac.

The paperback tome, published annually since 1792, purports to predict a year’s worth of America’s weather. This year, things look especially grim for Beantown.

Come winter, Harvardians can look forward to reading period, latkes at Hillel, and “much greater than normal” snowfall, according to the Almanac. Not to mention the chill factor: temperatures will be “colder than normal in December and exceptionally cold in the second half of January.”

Where does the Dublin, N.H. based publication derive its clairvoyant powers? From its founder’s “secret formula,” created according to his theory that “weather on Earth was influenced by sunspots, which are magnetic storms on the surface of the sun.” Along with weather predictions, the Almanac also provides helpful information on subjects like chickens, planting tables, and “zodiac secrets.” It all sounds a bit “out there,” but the Almanac insists its weather forecasts have a nearly 80% accuracy rate.

Not to worry though—the Almanac is also predicting sunshine for Boston. In mid-April.

Pass the latkes.