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I like it when inanimate objects speak to me. And not in that cheap,
“ate-some-magic-brownies-” or “hit-the-bottle-a-bit-too-much-” kind of
way. No, I prefer my anthropomorphism tangible and intentional. From
the maniacal Tickle-Me-Elmo to the evil little Furby, I like the lull
of a disembodied, semi-robotic voice.
However, while haphazardly flipping through a copy of Rolling
Stone a few weeks ago, a voice spoke to me. As two bright lights shone
in my face, a higher power gave me my mission in strange tongues, which
sounds, to an untrained ear, like the squealing wheels and crash of a
car.
I screamed.
Okay, maybe most are not as wimpy as me, but as a society, we
have come to expect certain qualities of our print ads: visually
eye-catching, the occasional free sample, a sniff of the latest
designer fragrance. But the WB’s adding of a vaguely supernatural voice
to promote its newest teeny-bopper thriller-lite, “Supernatural?” A
girl’s got to draw the line somewhere.
I’ll admit, after recovering from my belief that my
Harvard-addled mind had finally cracked, I was impressed. To paraphrase
Ron Burgundy, “You created a talking ad with light up-headlights? How’d
you do that? Actually I’m not even mad. That’s amazing.” But the
inherent creepiness was a little too “Minority Report” for me. First,
the ad is talking to me, then it is stalking me, then the robots take
over the world, etc., etc.
Through my addiction to perusing the entertainment
blogosphere, I soon learned that “My Name is Earl” star Jason Lee was
also sneaking into homes, ready to make pronouncements from under a
glossy page. NBC, so worried that the whole network will shrivel up and
die, took it one disturbing step further by adding television monitors
featuring clips of the show to the shirts of some officially titled
“Adwalker-brand ambassadors” (read: pretty women) in Santa Monica at an
outside mini-premiere of “Earl”—ensuring that the “this show will
follow you EVERYWHERE” vibe was maintained.
Sadly, I cannot say that these strategies crashed and burned.
Innovative advertising often pays off. Both shows premiered remarkably
well, “Earl” winning its timeslot and “Supernatural” finishing first
among the WB’s key 12-34 demographic. Yet does this brief success on
the battlefield condone the killing of our soul?
Okay, so I might be exaggerating a tad. Most certainly someone
who was zombified on a healthy diet of Saturday-morning infomercials,
not cartoons, isn’t ready to condemn innovative and interesting
advertising. It’s not the consumerism I object to; it’s the inherent
unnatural quality of the aggressive campaign.
Plus, somehow I’ve managed to absorb the concept of weighing
the cost/benefit of such a situation, even if I routinely ward off
economics and other math-like endeavors with my garlic pendant. And did
I mention that the “Supernatural” marketing team had actual gifts for
passersby in certain locations? That is, if your very liberal
definition of a gift includes those trendy, “love-a-cause,” wristbands.
WB shows, now that’s a charity to get behind. Middle-aged men,
old women, young children, all supporting a show they almost surely did
not watch. I may have worn my band proudly for a few hours because I’m
a sucker for things that are free and glow-in-the-dark, but I wasn’t
marking my calendar to save a place Tuesdays at 9.
The Supernatural campaign is ridiculous and most likely
unnecessary. It is a truth universally acknowledged that WB shows are
for teenage—with a margin of error +/- 10 years—girls. Some ridiculous
shows survive on the WB, simply because if you make it, and make it
with a couple of cute boys, they will watch. Kevin Costner’s career is
rolling in its grave, but it’s true.
For the men at the movies taking a free band or the vast
majority of Rolling Stone magazine-readers, no amount of trendy is
going to make them view it. A “Gilmore Girls” lead-in combined with
general girly curiosity gave “Supernatural” those numbers, not Grandma
or Dad or Billy-Bob.
Even for a show like “Earl,” in which the chances of reaping
the rewards are much higher, it would seem that for every person
intrigued, another was turned-off by the full-scale attack. Traditional
television ads go much farther in previewing the entertainment
possibility of a new comedy and actually tempting me to watch. Guerilla
campaigns are more successful in producing a thick scent of
desperation.
For a culture junkie, each forward step for promotion brings
almost more fascination than trepidation. But I’ve got enough things
talking to me (not to mention the actual people I’m supposed to be
interacting with). The magazines—and t-shirts, and unnecessary waste of
rubber (and voice in my head telling me to burn things?), and whatever
doohickey they come up with next—can shut up.
—Staff writer Margaret M. Rossman can be reached at rossman@fas.harvard.edu.
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