Crash B's Kick Off Crew Season

Pam Oliver of ESPN finished eighth yesterday placing three positions higher than Bill Clinton and eight ahead of Wesley Clark in the men’s open division of the Crash-B Sprints World Indoor Rowing Championship held in Boston. The names may lead you to believe this is some sort of joke, but the collegiate rowers who take part in this world championship see it as a tradition.

Oliver, of course, was the chosen pseudonym of Harvard junior Aaron Holzapfel who rowed as a member of ESPN—the Extra Special Pig Numchucks Rowing Club.

“A couple other guys and I decided to be sportscasters,” Holzapfel said. “Last year, a lot of us went as NBA big men.”

Among the names of other noted sports anchors which made appearances at the Crash-B’s were Kenny Mayne, Linda Cohn and Scott Van Pelt.

Sportscasters weren’t the only category of bizarre names thought up by the Harvard rowers. Other aliases included Gordon Bombay, Sea Cow, Cha Cha, and Big Tex.

Junior Malcolm Howard chose to take a different direction, rowing as his roommate and teammate junior Knut Klokk.

But don’t let the tradition of selecting light-hearted names deceive you, when these guys take to the erg, they’re out to win.

Howard finished seventh overall in the open competition—one spot and just under a second ahead of Holzapfel.

The real race, however, was between Holzapfel and Yale’s Andrew Brennan. Last year, Brennan edged out Holzapfel in the finals for tenth place. But, this time, Holzapfel exacted his revenge by the razor-thin margin of three-tenths of a second, relegating Brennan to ninth.

“I was really excited to race against Brennan and to edge him out,” Holzapfel said. “I thought I rowed a decent piece.”

Harvard seniors Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss also posted strong races, finishing in 15th and 19th place, respectively.

One of the major changes in this year’s event was the discontinuation of the heat system. In previous years, rowers would race in the morning in heats and go again in the afternoon in the finals. For the 2004 edition of Crash-B’s, there were only finals, meaning that each rower only had to race once.

“The guys who are very talented as far as endurance do a lot better in the afternoon,” Holzapfel said. “They’d go slower in the morning and sprint in the afternoon. I prefer [the new system] because I’m a lot fresher in the morning.”

The unique nature of the championships did not change, however. The fans were just as intense and proximate, the singular nature of the contest remained, and the adrenaline was pumping as hard as ever.

“It was great having my friends and my brother out there for support,” Radcliffe heavyweight co-captain Lis Lambert said. “It’s also nice to do something [like rowing] that’s usually so secluded in front of a big crowd. The technology there was great too, because everyone [in the audience] could see how the race was taking shape.”

Lambert was the top performer from Radcliffe Crew, finishing second place overall in the women’s open event behind Yale sophomore Maria Stevens.

“I gave it all I had and I had nothing left,” Lambert said. “It wasn’t my best piece, though. Actually, I went even faster [in the finals] last year.”

Other top Radcliffe finishers were junior Heather Schofield and co-captain Stef Lerner who finished in 26th and 41st places, respectively.

In the men’s lightweight division, the top Harvard finisher was senior Jake Sattelmair, who finished 11th—20 spots better than his finish last year.

Senior Sylvia Yang led the Radcliffe in the women’s lightweight division, finishing 15th—the fourth best collegiate finisher in the division. Sophomore Radcliffe lightweight Erica Mitchell and junior Kristin Hicks posted 20th and 29th place finishes, respectively.

—Staff writer Michael R. James can be reached at mrjames@fas.harvard.edu.